DIVORCEENCYCLOPEDIA OF POPULAR CULTURE
733
financial reasons to stay together, since two incomes were needed to
support their lifestyles. These factors, coupled with the 1980s politi-
cal conservatism and backlash against feminism, caused more cou-
ples to seek counseling to save their marriages. The divorce lull did
not last, however. Rates continue to climb as, approaching the twenty-
first century, generation Xers, many the children of divorce them-
selves, attempt to determine the boundaries of commitment. Divorce
is such a commonplace that while many couples still use lawyers to
work out their disputes, others now go to mediators and many more
execute their own divorces quite amicably. Along with divorcing
couples, there are now numerous cases of children divorcing their
parents and vice versa.
Until fairly recently, wives were considered little more than the
property of their husbands, and the treatment of women in the divorce
process has reflected this attitude. Though many women have been
unhappy in the marital roles assigned them, women have always had
more to lose financially from divorce. Less valued in the marketplace
than men, women often lose further ground by removing themselves
from the work force while working as mothers and homemakers.
When a woman divorces, the standard of living for her and her
children falls an average of 73 percent, often placing them below
poverty level. Men, by contrast, released from familial obligations,
are free to put more energy into their existing jobs. After divorce, a
man’s average standard of living rises 42 percent. The devaluing of
women’s role in the home has also contributed to unfair distribution
of assets after divorce. Except in ‘‘community property’’ states,
where any property acquired by either partner during the marriage is
divided equally, a woman may receive little or none of the family
resources, which may be in the husband’s name.
Beginning with the so-called ‘‘tender years’’ legislation of the
nineteenth century, custody of young children has traditionally been
awarded to the mother in divorce settlements. Courts may also choose
to award child support and alimony, or spousal support payments,
which also traditionally were paid by the husband as the primary
earner. In recent years, courts have begun to change assumptions
about gender roles, sometimes awarding custody and even spousal
support to the husband if he is judged to be the better parent or the wife
has greater earning power. ‘‘No-fault’’ divorce, a concept developed
in the 1980s, has further eroded the system of spousal support by
removing the factor of blame and responsibility for the end of the
marriage. While many applaud these changes, they often have result-
ed in even worse conditions for women following divorce.
Another product of the rising divorce rate has been the pre-
nuptial agreement, wherein couples plan for the possibility of divorce
before they are married and agree upon future division of property.
Originated by the lawyers of wealthy people who felt they had lost an
unfair amount in a divorce, the ‘‘pre-nup’’ is now as much a part of an
upper-class wedding as the wedding cake.
Social attitudes toward men and women surrounding divorce
have tended to be quite different, especially prior to the 1970s.
Divorced men have often been viewed as roguish or even slightly
dangerous, not undesirable qualities in a male. Also, the addition of
another available man to the social pool is generally looked upon as a
good thing. Divorced women, on the other hand, have been seen
traditionally as promiscuous, and the addition of an unattached
woman to society is usually viewed as threatening to other women.
Images of divorce in the media have contributed to these
perceptions. Entertainers have always lived by their own rules, and
even in decades when divorce was most stigmatized in ordinary
society, the public avidly followed the marital adventures of the
movie stars. Even in the repressive 1950s, actors such as Elizabeth
Taylor and Mickey Rooney set records for numbers of marriages that
are still impressive today. Fascinated fans reacted with outrage when
divorcee Taylor broke up the ‘‘idyllic’’ marriage of Eddie Fisher and
Debbie Reynolds. In the mid-1970s they formed strong opinions
about the so-called ‘‘palimony’’ suit following the breakup of long-
term unmarried lovers Lee Marvin and Michelle Triola when Triola
insisted that she was entitled to spousal support after their six-year
relationship ended.
Films tended to both reflect and mold social attitudes. In 1934,
Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers danced their way through lightheart-
ed marital misunderstandings in The Gay Divorcee. In the early
1960s, anti-divorce attitudes won out in The Parent Trap, when twin
daughters (played by Hayley Mills) of a divorced couple managed to
reunite their parents, whose breakup was clearly ill-advised. The
1980s backlash was represented nowhere better than in the Oscar
winner for best picture Kramer vs. Kramer, in which Dustin Hoffman
and Meryl Streep played divorcing parents. Both were motivated by
their own selfishness, but in the end it was the husband who was
redeemed by learning the joys of familyhood and was rewarded with
custody of the couple’s son.
By the 1990s, divorce was so common that it had lost much of its
social stigma and much of its value as scandal. Fans still followed the
love lives of the stars, but it took an exceptionally short marriage or
brutal breakup to arouse much public interest. Celebrity-watchers felt
vindicated when superstar Julia Roberts walked away from unlikely
spouse Lyle Lovett after only a few months, and they cheered for
beloved icon Carol Channing when she left her forty-one-year
marriage at age seventy-seven, citing lack of sex as one of the reasons.
Film portrayals tended to show divorce as a positive solution to a bad
situation. The 1989 film The War of the Roses was a disturbing
comedy about violent breakup where neither partner was presented in
a positive light, while The First Wives Club (1996) was a sort of
revenge comedy where the mistreated wives took action against their
boorish ex-husbands.
In past centuries, marriage was a pragmatic agreement and the
family an economic unit, whether industrial or agricultural. Members
each had a unique function and derived stability and protection from
their place in the unit, which was most often an extended family
comprising elders, adults, and children. Marriage and the creation of a
family was part of survival. As American society evolved, the nuclear
family replaced the extended family as the major social unit, and its
function has more and more become that of emotional support and
physical caretaking rather than working together. As partners enter
marriage, they have higher expectations of happiness and satisfaction.
Some sociologists cite these rising expectations as the reason for
rising rates of divorce, while others contend that since marriage and
family are no longer a necessity of physical survival, it is natural that
couples tend to drift apart.
As divorce becomes more prevalent, the image of the family
continues to change. Though political and religious conservatives
have tried to restore a more traditional concept of the nuclear family,
they have not been able to stop these changes. While many bemoan
the ill-effects of divorce on children, most modern studies show that
children do not benefit from growing up in a traditional nuclear
family where the parents are unhappy together. The definition of
family is now broadening to include not only nuclear families, but
also unmarried heterosexuals and gays living together, single-parent
families, stepfamilies, foster and adoptive families, childlessness,
nonmonogamous relationships, and multiple-adult households. Family