194 Wesley and the Wesleyans
Wesley could conceive of existence only within a web of
intense religious feelings and beliefs. As he grew up, leaving
Lincolnshirefor aLondon school, attendingOxford, spending
time in the parishes of a few friends, and then trying Georgia,
he could not find an equivalent of his family which would sat-
isfy both mind and emotion. One realises why the communal
pietism of the Moravians attracted him so much, and why he
replicated it in many ways in his own societies. His mother,
Susanna Wesley, may have been devoted to the Puritan and
Lockean view that children’s wills should be broken, but she
failed with John. His upbringing strengthened his will. He
applied the same educational theory himself at the boarding
school he opened in Kingswood, near Bristol, and showed no
curiosity about its consequences.
Wesley’s family left him with certainties which were usu-
ally verbal, not visual. He does not, for example, re port the
kind of image of Jesus on the Cross which was not uncom-
mon among the Wesleyans. He recorded some dreams, but
left their meaning obscure. How far his search for the hand
of God in events could go is shown by his habit of opening
the Bible at random in the hope of finding guidance, and in
the use of drawing lots to take difficult decisions, a custom
which occurred among the Moravians, and which the Annual
Conference briefly continued after his death. Looked at in this
way, Wesley was strong-willed and ambitious, convinced of
the centrality of a religious explanation of the world, patriar-
chal towards women, unimaginative and intellectually incuri-
ous, critical of his superiors and with little protection against
the intrusive power of primary religion.
This is a harsh view, though Anglican commentators have
tended to follow it. Later Methodist writers follow the line
of Alexander Knox (1757–1831), a Northern Irishman who
knew Wesley and approved of his holiness teaching. Knox’s