Anker Susan. Real Essays with Readings with 2009 MLA Update

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 29 • Misplaced and Dangling Modiﬁ ers 537

relaxed attitude toward dress may have contributed to the recent increases

in absenteeism and lateness at Wilson and Hollister. (9) Other problems

have also surfaced. (10) Clients have sometimes expressed surprise who

have dropped in unexpectedly. (11) Hoping to keep their respect and

their business, the clients appear to feel more comfortable with employees

in suits. (12) Finally, fearing an increase in sexual harassment, sleeveless

shirts, shorts, miniskirts, and halter tops will no longer be permitted.

(13) Human resources almost recommends a complete change in the

casual-dress policy. (14) While continuing to wear casual clothing on

Friday, business attire Monday through Thursday, is effective immediately.

(15) As an employee who prefers casual clothing, this news is rather sad,

but the decision is for the best. (16) Certain that you will understand the

necessity for these changes, your cooperation is appreciated.

PRACTICE 3 EDITING YOUR OWN WRITING FOR

MISPLACED AND DANGLING MODIFIERS

As a ﬁ nal practice, edit a piece of your own writing for misplaced and dangling

modiﬁ ers. It can be a paper you are working on for this course, a paper you’ve

already ﬁ nished, a paper for another course, a recent piece of writing from

your work or everyday life, or your idea journal entry. You may want to use

the chart on page 538 as you edit.

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EDITING ESSAYS

538 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns

HOW TO EDIT FOR MISPLACED

AND DANGLING MODIFIERS

Check the modiﬁ ers only,

almost, hardly, nearly, and just.

Check opening modiﬁ ers,

especially phrases and clauses.

A misplaced modiﬁ er

modiﬁ es the wrong

sentence element

because it is

incorrectly placed

(see p. 531).

A dangling modiﬁ er is

an opening word group

that modiﬁ es an

element that is not

in the sentence

(see p. 532).

Check phrases beginning

with -ing verb forms.

Check prepositional phrases.

Check clauses beginning with

who, whose, that, or which.

Edit to ensure that the sentence element to be modiﬁ ed

is in the sentence and is as close as possible to the modiﬁ er.

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539

Coordination and

Subordination

Joining Ideas

Understand Coordination

and Subordination

Coordination is used to join two sentences with related ideas, using for,

and, nor, but, or, so, or yet. The two sentences you join will still be inde-

pendent clauses — complete sentences — joined with a comma and a co-

ordinating conjunction.

TWO SENTENCES The internship at the magazine is very prestigious.

Many interns have gone on to get good jobs.

independent clause

JOINED THROUGH The internship at the magazine is very prestigious,

COORDINATION and many interns have gone on to get good jobs.

independent clause

Subordination is also used to join two sentences with related ideas,

using a dependent word such as although, because, if, or that. The resulting

sentence will have one independent clause (a complete sentence) and one

dependent clause (not a complete sentence).

TWO SENTENCES The internship was advertised last week. The

magazine received many calls about it.

■ IDEA JOURNAL

Write about a family

story — an incident

that is told repeatedly.

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EDITING ESSAYS

540 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns

dependent clause

JOINED THROUGH When the internship was advertised last week, the

SUBORDINATION magazine received many calls about it.

independent clause

[Adding the word when makes the ﬁ rst sentence dependent, or subordinate, to

the second sentence.]

Both coordination and subordination are ways to join short, choppy

sentences to get better rhythm and ﬂ ow in your writing.

Practice Using Coordination

and Subordination

Using Coordinating Conjunctions

Conjunctions join words, phrases, or clauses. Coordinating conjunc-

tions (and, but, for, nor, or, so, and yet) join independent clauses. You can

remember them by keeping the word fanboys in mind:

for, and, nor, but,

or, yet, so. Choose the conjunction that makes the most sense, and make

sure to put a comma before it when joining two independent clauses.

Independent

clause

Coordinating

conjunction

for

and

nor

but

yet

Independent

clause

My friend is coming , and I’m excited to see her.

[And simply joins two ideas.]

We were best friends , but I haven’t seen her for

[But indicates

years.

contrast.]

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 30 • Coordination and Subordination 541

I’m a little nervous, for we may not have anything in common anymore.

[For indicates a reason or cause.]

We haven’t talked much, nor have we written. [Nor indicates a negative.]

Maybe we will pick up our friendship, or we may be like strangers. [Or

indicates alternatives.]

We are meeting tonight, so we will know soon. [So indicates a result.]

It’s hard to keep old friends, yet they are very important. [Yet indicates a

reason.]

PRACTICE 1 JOINING IDEAS WITH COORDINATING

CONJUNCTIONS

In each of the following sentences, ﬁ ll in the blank with an appropriate coor-

dinating conjunction. There may be more than one correct answer for some

sentences.

EXAMPLE: Millions of people get motion sickness while traveling,

and

it can turn an enjoyable experience into a

nightmare.

1. Nearly 60 percent of children get carsick or airsick, many also get

sick on amusement park rides.

2. Some amusement park operators are aware of this, a major theme

park recently handed out “stomach distress” bags to customers.

3. Most people have experienced motion sickness at one time or another,

there are ways of easing or even avoiding its effects.

4. Motion sickness happens when a person’s eyes and ears sense that she is

moving one way, her brain detects movement in another way.

5. When in a car, you want to see the car’s movement while you are feeling

it, sit in the front seat and watch the road.

6. On a ship, you need to ﬁ nd a level point to focus on, you should

keep your eyes on the horizon.

■ Answers to odd-

numbered practice

items are at the back

of the book.

■ For more practice

with coordination and

subordination, visit

Exercise Central at

bedfordstmartins

.com/realessays.

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EDITING ESSAYS

542 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns

7. When you are ﬂ ying, choose a window seat, look outside to watch

and sense the plane’s movement.

8. You can get a prescription for medication to prevent motion sickness,

you can also ﬁ nd some effective over-the-counter medications.

9. Taking ginger may be an even better way to prevent motion sickness,

you can simply buy ginger tea or raw ginger at a supermarket.

10. If you use a medication, be sure to take it one hour before you travel,

there may not be enough time for it to take effect.

PRACTICE 2 COMBINING SENTENCES WITH

COORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS

Combine each pair of sentences into a single sentence by using a comma and

a coordinating conjunction. In some cases, there may be more than one cor-

rect answer.

EXAMPLE: Americans have recently experienced unpleasant

, but people

shocks at the gas station.

People in the United States still pay

lower gas prices than much of the world.

1. Gasoline prices are lower in the United States than in many other indus-

trialized countries. Most Americans do not ﬁ nd this news comforting.

2. People in the United States are used to low gas prices. Many drivers feel

cheated when prices increase.

3. European drivers pay more than ﬁ ve dollars a gallon for gasoline. Gas

prices in Asia have been triple those in the United States.

4. Canadians also pay higher gas prices than Americans pay. The taxes on

gasoline are higher in Canada than they are in this country.

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 30 • Coordination and Subordination 543

5. Few people would argue that gasoline prices in the United States are too

low. The reason for these relatively cheap prices is that gasoline is not

heavily taxed.

6. In many countries, taxes on gasoline support social services. The money

may also pay for research on reducing air pollution.

7. Gasoline taxes can help to pay for roads. They can raise money for

research into fuel efﬁ ciency.

8. However, taxes on gasoline are very unpopular with most drivers. Politicians

are not eager to vote for gasoline taxes.

9. Many Americans do not want to pay gas taxes of even two or three cents

per gallon. Most also do not want to spend tax money on mass transit

systems.

10. Gasoline prices will probably never be as high in the United States as they

are in Asia. A few Americans are not sure that this is a good thing.

Using Semicolons

A semicolon is a punctuation mark that can join two sentences through

coordination. When you use a semicolon, make sure that the ideas in the

two sentences are closely related.

EQUAL IDEA ; EQUAL IDEA

My computer crashed ; I lost all of my ﬁ les.

I had just ﬁ nished my paper ; I will have to redo it.

A semicolon alone does not tell readers much about the relationship

between the two ideas. Use a conjunctive adverb after the semicolon

to give more information about the relationship. Put a comma after the

conjunctive adverb.

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EDITING ESSAYS

544 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns

The following are some of the most common conjunctive adverbs,

along with a few examples of how they are used.

Independent

clause

; afterward,

; also,

; as a result,

; besides,

; consequently,

; frequently,

; however,

; in addition,

; in fact,

; instead,

; still,

; then,

; therefore,

Independent

clause

My computer crashed ; as a result, I lost all my ﬁ les.

I should have made ; however, I had not.

backup ﬁ les

The information is lost ; therefore, I will have to try to

rebuild the ﬁ les.

PRACTICE 3 JOINING IDEAS WITH SEMICOLONS

Join each pair of sentences by using a semicolon alone.

EXAMPLE: In the wake of recent scandals, many businesses are using

new techniques to identify questionable job candidates.

Graphology

is one such technique.

1. Graphology involves identifying personality features on the basis of a

person’s handwriting. These features include honesty, responsibility, and

loyalty.

2. Graphology is now used widely in Europe. Many American graphologists,

too, say their business has grown signiﬁ cantly in recent years.

; graphology

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 30 • Coordination and Subordination 545

3. An owner of a jewelry store turned to a graphology consultant following

an increase in employee theft. He says that handwriting analysis helped to

identify the thieves.

4. Many scientists and doctors, however, believe that graphology is not reli-

able or scientiﬁ c at all. They state that there is no evidence that graphol-

ogy can uncover a person’s true character.

5. Nevertheless, even some job seekers are beginning to use graphology to

help them ﬁ nd work. One says he submitted his handwriting analysis

report along with his résumé and got the job he wanted.

PRACTICE 4 COMBINING SENTENCES WITH SEMICOLONS AND

CONNECTING WORDS (Conjunctive adverbs)

Combine each pair of sentences by using a semicolon and a connecting word

followed by a comma. Choose a conjunctive adverb that makes sense for the

relationship between the two ideas. In some cases, there may be more than

one correct answer.

; however, after

EXAMPLE: Most people do not own a gas mask.

After 9/11, some may

feel more comfortable having one available.

1. Two inventors believed that Americans would welcome the opportunity

to have a gas mask. They invented one that is part of a baseball cap.

2. Professional gas masks are costly, heavy, and hard to use. Most consum-

ers would not ﬁ nd them appealing.

3. The new baseball-cap gas mask is small and lightweight. It can ﬁ t in the

corner of a drawer, in a coat pocket, or in a briefcase.

4. This mask can easily ﬁ t children as well as adults. It may sell for as little

as twenty dollars.

5. The wearer slips a thin sheet of transparent plastic attached to the hat over

his or her head. The plastic sheet can be tied shut at the back of the neck.

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EDITING ESSAYS

546 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns

6. Air from the outside is pulled in by a tiny fan. The air is forced through a

ﬁ lter of activated carbon in the hat’s brim.

7. The inventors say that the plastic sheet allows the wearer to see clearly. It

does not make the wearer feel too closed in.

8. The mask is not intended for long-term use. It is meant to be worn for

about ﬁ fteen to thirty minutes.

9. The goal is to allow the wearer to get out of the contaminated area quickly.

The wearer can simply slip on the mask and then move into fresh air.

10. The inventors are now looking for a company to make the new gas mask.

Consumers will be able to obtain the gas masks from the manufacturer.

Using Subordinating Conjunctions

Conjunctions join words, phrases, or clauses. Subordinating conjunc-

tions join two sentences, making the one after the dependent word a

dependent clause.

Choose the conjunction that makes the most sense with the two sen-

tences. Here are some of the most common subordinating conjunctions.

Independent

clause

after once

although since

as so that

as if unless

because until

before when

even though whenever

if where

if only while

now that

Dependent

clause

I decided to go to work although I had a terrible cold.

I hate to miss a day unless I absolutely can’t get

there.

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