Anker Susan. Real Essays with Readings with 2009 MLA Update

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 27 • Pronouns 507

If a pronoun is part of a compound object in a prepositional phrase, use

an object pronoun.

Please keep that information just between you and me.

[Between you and me is a prepositional phrase, so it uses the object pronoun, me.]

Many people make the mistake of writing between you and I. The correct

pronoun is the object pronoun, me.

PRACTICE 6 EDITING PRONOUNS IN COMPOUND

CONSTRUCTIONS

Edit each sentence using the proper type of pronoun. If a sentence is already

correct, write “C” next to it.

she I

EXAMPLE: Megan and I love soda, and her and me regularly have

two cans a day each.

1. However, a TV program on dental health started making she and I

rethink our soda-drinking habit.

2. Her and me paid close attention as we watched a dentist, Dr. Jenine Sum-

mers, and her assistant, Ian, conduct an experiment.

3. Dr. Summers asked Ian to place a tooth in a bottle of soda, and her and

him observed what happened to the tooth.

4. Megan and me watched as time-elapse photography showed how the

tooth changed from day to day.

5. The result of the experiment surprised her and I.

6. At the end of the experiment, Dr. Summers and Ian looked in the bottle

of soda for the tooth, and she and he showed that it had disappeared.

7. Them and us said “Wow” at the same time.

8. Dr. Summers explained how acids in the soda broke down the tooth; her

comments about soda’s sugar content were equally shocking to Megan

and me.

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EDITING ESSAYS

508 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns

9. Megan and me learned that each can of soda we drink contains about ten

teaspoons of sugar, which creates even more tooth-dissolving acid and

contributes to weight gain.

10. Therefore, us and some other friends have decided to ban soda from our

refrigerators.

Pronouns Used in Comparisons

Using the wrong type of pronoun in comparisons can give a sentence

an unintended meaning. Editing sentences that contain comparisons can

be tricky because comparisons often imply words that aren’t actually in-

cluded in the sentence.

To ﬁ nd comparisons, look for the words than or as. To decide whether

to use a subject or object pronoun in a comparison, try adding the implied

words and saying the sentence aloud.

Bill likes Chinese food more than I.

[This sentence means Bill likes Chinese food more than I like it. The implied

word after I is do.]

Bill likes Chinese food more than me.

[This sentence means Bill likes Chinese food more than he likes me. The implied

words after than are he likes.]

The professor knows more than ( us / we ).

[Think: The professor knows more than we know.]

Jen likes other professors more than ( he / him ).

[Think: Jen likes other professors more than she likes him.]

PRACTICE 7 EDITING PRONOUNS IN COMPARISONS

Edit each sentence using the correct pronoun type. If a sentence is correct,

put a “C” next to it.

EXAMPLE: Clarissa was my friend before college, so few roommates

she

at school got along better than

her and I.

1. We saw how some other roommates had conﬂ icts right away, and we

were happy that we got along better than them.

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 27 • Pronouns 509

2. However, Clarissa, who is about a year younger than me, began to change

during our freshman year.

3. She became romantically involved with Brad, and she eventually began

to care more for he than me.

4. Apparently, this was clear to everyone except me.

5. I couldn’t understand why she wanted to spend more time with him than

with I.

6. For as long as I could remember, no two people were more inseparable

than us.

7. Another friend of mine, Haley, solved the problem, and no one could

have been as gentle with my feelings as her.

8. Haley had a few of the same classes as me, and we had begun to study

together.

9. She pointed out that a similar conﬂ ict had developed between she and a

lifelong friend, but understanding and open communication had saved

their friendship.

10. Haley helped me to accept Clarissa and Brad’s new relationship and to

recognize that the change could mean growth for me as well as for them.

Choosing between Who and Whom

Who is always a subject; use it if the pronoun performs an action. Whom is

always an object; use it if the pronoun does not perform any action.

WHO = SUBJECT Janis is the friend who introduced me to Billy.

WHOM = OBJECT Billy is the man whom I met last night.

In most cases, for sentences where the pronoun is followed by

a verb, use who. When the pronoun is followed by a noun or pronoun,

use whom.

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EDITING ESSAYS

510 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns

The person ( who / whom ) spoke was boring.

[The pronoun is followed by the verb spoke. Use who.]

The person ( who / whom ) I met was boring.

[The pronoun is followed by another pronoun: I. Use whom.]

Whoever is a subject pronoun; whomever is an object pronoun.

PRACTICE 8 CHOOSING BETWEEN WHO AND WHOM

In each sentence, circle the correct word, who or whom.

EXAMPLE: Most people think it was Thomas Alva Edison ( who /

whom ) invented the electric light bulb.

1. Edison is certainly the one ( who / whom ) became famous for his electric

light bulb, but he did not invent it.

2. The inventor to ( who / whom ) this credit belongs is the English chemist

Humphry Davy.

3. It was Davy for ( who / whom ), in 1809, a charged strip of charcoal took

on a satisfying glow after he connected it to a battery with wires.

4. An English physicist named Joseph Wilson Swan, ( who / whom ) is also

largely unknown, advanced this development in 1878 by creating an elec-

tric light bulb that glowed for 13.5 hours.

5. Three years earlier, Henry Woodward and Matthew Evans had patented a

light bulb, and it was then Edison ( who / whom ) purchased their patent

and in 1879 devised a carbon ﬁ lament that burned for 40 hours.

Make Pronouns Consistent

Pronouns have to be consistent in person, which is the point of view a

writer uses. Pronouns may be in ﬁ rst person (I, we); second person ( you);

or third person (he, she, it, or they). (See the chart on page 496.)

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 27 • Pronouns 511

INCONSISTENT PERSON I wanted to use the copy machine, but the

attendant said you had to have an access code.

[The sentence starts in the ﬁ rst person (I ) but shifts to the second person ( you).]

CONSISTENT PERSON I wanted to use the copy machine, but the

attendant said I had to have an access code.

[The sentence stays with the ﬁ rst person, I.]

INCONSISTENT PERSON After a caller presses 1, you get a recording.

[The sentence starts with the third person (a caller) but shifts to the second person

( you).]

CONSISTENT PERSON After a caller presses 1, he or she gets a recording.

CONSISTENT PERSON, After callers press 1, they get a recording.

PLURAL

[In these last two examples, the sentence stays with the third person.]

PRACTICE 9 MAKING PRONOUNS CONSISTENT IN PERSON

In the following items, correct the shifts in person. There may be more than

one way to correct some sentences.

EXAMPL E: I have a younger brother with an allergy to peanuts, so

ou have to be very careful with his food.

1. Experts agree that the percentage of people with allergies to foods is ris-

ing, but we don’t know why.

2. Someone who has a mild allergic reaction the ﬁ rst time you eat a food

may develop more severe allergies from future contacts with the food.

3. If a person has a severe allergy to a food and unknowingly eats even a

small amount of that food, you could die.

4. However, if people with allergies are protected from any contact with

the food for several years, his or her allergies may disappear or become

milder.

5. When a child has severe allergies, their parents can be extremely cautious.

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EDITING ESSAYS

512 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns

6. My little brother is severely allergic to peanuts, so you are not allowed to

eat anything containing peanuts while he is nearby.

7. He carries an adrenaline pen that can save your life if you go into shock

from a food allergy.

8. I love peanut butter, but you can’t eat a peanut butter sandwich in my

house.

9. My mother will not take my brother to any public place where you can

even smell peanuts.

10. Some people think that her precautions are extreme, but she knows that

you can’t be too careful when your child’s life is at stake.

Edit Paragraphs and Your Own Writing

Edit the following paragraphs for pronoun errors, referring to the chart on

page 516 as you need to.

EDITING REVIEW 1 (14 errors)

(1) When a store makes a mistake with an order, the customer should

complain to them. (2) But some people they are more effective than others

at complaining. (3) A good example of this was when Gary, whom is in

charge of facilities for his social club, ordered a barbecue grill. (4) When

Gary called to place his order, he was pleased because you were connected

to a sales person right away. (5) The ordering process between he and the

sales person went smoothly, including the store’s offer of free assembly of

the barbecue, but things went downhill after that. (6) When Gary went to

the store on the agreed-upon day to pick up the assembled barbecue, they

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 27 • Pronouns 513

told him it was not assembled. (7) Gary lost his temper and screamed

at the store manager, causing several nearby customers to abandon the

products he or she was going to buy. (8) Gary kept yelling and the store

manager kept calmly responding, but he soon angrily stormed out to the

parking lot and drove away. (9) Therefore, the social club did not get

their barbecue grill that day. (10) After Gary explained this to Natalie,

the club’s president, she said she didn’t know who to blame more, Gary

or the store manager. (11) She was better at diplomacy than him, so him

and her agreed that Natalie would communicate with the store from then

on. (12) When calling the store, Natalie she was polite, patient, and ﬁ rm

in discussing with the manager how to correct the situation. (13) The re-

sult was that they delivered the barbecue grill that same day, and the store

manager gave the club a 10 percent discount on the purchase.

EDITING REVIEW 2 (11 errors)

(1) If someone arrives home carrying a heavy bag of groceries, they

often have to struggle to ﬁ nd and get out the house keys to open the door.

(2) Life just got a little easier for that person because of a new type of door

lock that allows he or she to enter with just the swipe of a ﬁ nger. (3) The

lock is a scanner that stores the ﬁ ngerprints of those whom are authorized

to have access. (4) If the person’s ﬁ ngerprint matches a stored print, the

lock it slides open. (5) The user does not need to do any wiring to install

the lock, and it needs only four AA batteries to operate it. (6) Using radio

waves, the lock detects distances between ridges and valleys of a ﬁ nger

just below the skin’s surface, so it doesn’t even matter if they have a minor

cut or scratch. (7) While it may be possible for criminals to somehow get

a photocopy of a homeowner’s ﬁ ngerprint, him or her is unlikely to get

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EDITING ESSAYS

514 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns

this opportunity. (8) Furthermore, the person who the lock is intended

for will never have this ﬁ ngerprint information hacked because it is stored

only by the lock itself and not in a central computer. (9) Homeowners

with this device no longer need to remember their house keys because his

or her ﬁ ngerprints are always with him or her. (10) There is one thing

homeowners do have to remember, though; you have to make sure there

are always fresh batteries in the lock.

EDITING REVIEW 3 (11 errors)

(1) NASA recently had trouble ﬁ nding enough volunteers for ex-

periments designed to test how well you could counteract the effects of

weightlessness. (2) The recruits were asked if he or she would lie down in

bed for three weeks. (3) Each volunteer also had to have their feet about

ﬁ ve inches higher than their heads. (4) The subjects they could not get

up, ate while supported by one elbow, used bedpans, and showered lying

down on a waterproof cart. (5) When people lie down for three weeks,

your muscles and bones can weaken, just as in real weightlessness. (6) To

see if this weakening can be counteracted, they had some subjects spin

around on a centrifuge bed for thirty times a minute for one hour each day,

which simulated gravity. (7) In order to test the comparative effects of

the centrifuge on men and women, subjects were studied in male-female

pairs, but only one such pair showed any difference. (8) (He was af-

fected more than her.) (9) From the start, the project was hampered by

their inability to recruit more than ten subjects. (10) Most of the researchers,

whom had hoped for thirty participants, were puzzled by the small num-

ber of volunteers. (11) But one scientist, for who this was no surprise,

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 27 • Pronouns 515

noted that the centrifuge experience, combined with three weeks of lying

in bed, probably scared off a lot of people. (12) She also wondered if

many people could take so much time off from his or her job.

EDITING REVIEW 4 (12 errors)

(1) For those whom have some clothes they no longer want, there

is now a new way to put those clothes to use. (2) A trend called clothes

swapping allows a person to donate their unwanted but still usable

clothing in exchange for someone else’s clothes. (3) People they are

swapping clothes in many American cities and even in other countries.

(4) It started in the 1990s when groups of women would get together

and someone would bring along their unwanted clothes to see if anyone

else wanted them. (5) But now there are advertised clothes swaps, and

it draws men as well as women. (6) At some swap events, they require a

donation of clothes in order to enter; at others, there might be an admis-

sion fee. (7) There is also the chance of ﬁ nding a smelly or dirty tee shirt

as you rummage through a stack of clothing. (8) But most swaps have a

rule that participants clean and press his or her donated clothing. (9) The

attraction it is a combination of the thrill of bartering and the anticipation

of coming across some free clothes that ﬁ t one’s size and personality. (10)

Swaps don’t have changing rooms, so they just put on an item over the

clothes they are already wearing and ask others whom are nearby how it

looks. (11) Getting clothes at no cost is, of course, the main advantage,

but participants are also aware that, if they look awful when tried on at

home, they can simply be donated at the next swap.

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EDITING ESSAYS

516 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns

PRACTICE 10 EDITING YOUR OWN WRITING

FOR PRONOUN USE

As a ﬁ nal practice, edit for pronoun use in a piece of your own writing — a

paper you are working on for this course, a paper you’ve already ﬁ nished, a

paper for another course, a recent piece of writing from your work or everyday

life, or your idea journal entry. You may want to use the following chart as

you edit.

HOW TO EDIT FOR CORRECT

PRONOUN USE

Make sure pronoun

reference is clear,

not ambiguous,

vague, or repetitious

(see p. 502).

Make sure you have

used the right type

of pronoun — subject,

object, or possessive

(see p. 505).

Make sure you have

been consistent with

your use of person

(point of view)

(see p. 510).

Make sure each

pronoun agrees

with the noun or

pronoun it refers to

(see p. 497).

Check for shifts

in person.

Check pronouns

that refer to

indeﬁ nite pronouns.

Check pronouns

that refer to

collective nouns.

Check who and whom.

Check compound

subjects and objects.

Check comparisons.

Edit for correct pronoun use

by checking four things.

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