Anker Susan. Real Essays with Readings with 2009 MLA Update

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 28 • Adjectives and Adverbs 527

problems. (9) Indeed, The Sopranos, which was one of the bigger hits ever

on cable television, included many psychologists in its audience. (10) One

online magazine regular published a therapist’s analysis of each episode.

(11) Other therapists chatted online about whether or not the psycholo-

gist on the television show is practicing psychology. (12) The audiences

of psychological professionals seem to agree that therapy is portrayed

accurater on the show than in many popular ﬁ lms. (13) As they point out,

at least the therapist is not in love with her patient, unlike several psychia-

trists in recently movies. (14) Although Mr. Soprano, like many actual

therapy patients, does things that are not good for his mental health, his

therapist thinks that he is functioning best now than before. (15) If he ever

honest discussed his criminal day job with her, even the therapists tuning

in might have had trouble ﬁ guring out the bestest possible response.

EDITING REVIEW 3 (12 errors)

(1) For as long as most Americans could remember, everyone as-

sumed that the food and other products people bought could be used

safe. (2) But not long ago, newspaper articles began reporting how sev-

eral brands of pet food sold regular in stores were making cats and dogs

sick. (3) Some pets actual died from eating this food. (4) Investigators

eventual traced this contaminated pet food to a real dangerous ingredi-

ent called melamine, which was supplied by several companies based in

China. (5) There followed a major recall of this contaminated pet food,

allowing consumers to feel more calm about the safety of store prod-

ucts. (6) However, soon after that, Americans learned that ﬁ rms in China

also were using hazardous ingredients in some toothpastes and drugs and

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EDITING ESSAYS

528 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns

dangerous levels of lead in paint (which can be poisonous when ingested

by children) on some good-selling toys. (7) However, foreign companies

using worst ingredients to cut costs don’t appear to be the only danger

to American consumers. (8) Recently, contaminate spinach from Califor-

nia sickened more than one hundred people. (9) Have food and other

products available in stores become unsafer than they used to be? (10)

Are there good safeguards in place to assure consumers that contami-

nated products will not reach store shelves easy? (11) For now, the answer

seems to be that the reporting of a free press is what is helping Americans

stay informed good about the safety of the products they buy.

EDITING REVIEW 4 (14 errors)

(1) In large and small parks across the country, a common sight is

a pair of chess players quiet and intent studying the pieces on the board

between them. (2) But lately, chess in the park has been taken to a newest

level. (3) “Street chess,” as it is typical called, is no longer recreation;

instead, it is most like a business. (4) Normal, it is the same people, mainly

men, who are at their chess boards every day. (5) These players — some

call them hustlers — take on anybody who is willing to try to beat them,

usual for a wager of about $5. (6) Most of them are real skilled and able

to defeat just about any opponent who challenges them. (7) Some play

bad sometimes and lose a game deliberate so that their regular custom-

ers will keep coming back. (8) But most hustlers play to win all the time,

even if they hold back sometimes to avoid embarrassing or discouraging

their customers. (9) Players say that, general, the police do not bother

them, but most hustlers still ﬁ nd it best to use street aliases than their real

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 28 • Adjectives and Adverbs 529

names. (10) One player claims never to play for money, adding that he

gives lessons for $45 an hour. (11) Some players treat the pastime casual,

playing only when they’re in the mood. (12) But for many hustlers, street

chess is their life; they start during the day, every day, and continue good

into the next morning.

PRACTICE 5 EDITING YOUR OWN WRITING

FOR CORRECT ADJECTIVES AND ADVERBS

As a ﬁ nal practice, edit a piece of your own writing for correct use of adjectives

and adverbs. It can be a paper you are working on for this course, a paper

you’ve already ﬁ nished, a paper for another course, a recent piece of writing

from your work or everyday life, or your idea journal entry. You may want to

use the chart on page 530 as you edit.

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EDITING ESSAYS

530 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns

HOW TO EDIT FOR CORRECT

USE OF ADJECTIVES

AND ADVERBS

Use comparative

and superlative forms

correctly

(see p. 520).

Use the correct form

of the irregular words

good, well, bad,

and badly

(see p. 522).

Choose correctly

between adjective

and adverb forms

(see p. 519).

Use adjectives to

modify nouns and

pronouns.

Use adverbs to

modify verbs,

adjectives, and

other adverbs.

Use comparatives

to compare two

things.

Form comparatives

by adding -er

or more.

Use superlatives to

compare three or

more things.

Form superlatives

by adding -est

or most.

Use good and

bad as adjectives.

Use well and badly

as adverbs.

Use the correct

comparative and

superlative forms

of these words.

Edit for correct use of adjectives and

adverbs by checking three things.

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Understand What Misplaced

and Dangling Modiﬁ ers Are

Modiﬁ ers are words or word groups that describe other words in a sen-

tence. Unless the modiﬁ er is near the words it modiﬁ es, the sentence can

be misleading or unintentionally funny.

Misplaced Modiﬁ ers

A misplaced modiﬁ er, because it is not correctly placed in the sentence,

describes the wrong word or words. To correct a misplaced modiﬁ er,

move the modiﬁ er as close as possible to the word or words it modiﬁ es.

The safest choice is often to put the modiﬁ er directly before the sentence

element it modiﬁ es.

MISPLACED Rudy saw my dog driving his car on the highway.

[Was my dog driving a car? No, Rudy was, so the modiﬁ er must come right before

or right after his name.]

CORRECT Driving his car on the highway, Rudy saw my dog.

MISPLACED Claudia could not see the stop sign without sunglasses.

[Did the sign need sunglasses? No, Claudia did.]

CORRECT Without sunglasses, Claudia could not see the stop sign.

Misplaced and Dangling

Modiﬁ ers

Avoiding Confusing Descriptions

■ IDEA JOURNAL

Write about how a

person gets power or

respect.

531

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EDITING ESSAYS

532 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns

Four constructions in particular often lead to misplaced modiﬁ ers:

1. Modiﬁ ers such as only, almost, hardly, nearly, and just

I only ordered half a pound.

Molly almost slept for ten hours.

2. Modiﬁ ers that start with -ing verbs

Timothy bought the car. using cash.

Elena took out the hot pizza. wearing an oven mitt.

[Note that when you move the phrase beginning with an -ing verb to the beginning

of the sentence, you need to follow it with a comma.]

They saw the Grand Canyon. looking out the window of the plane.

3. Modiﬁ ers that are prepositional phrases

Jim was carrying the bags for his sister to the house.

Julie found money in her glove compartment for ice cream.

We saw the rare bird. with binoculars.

4. Modiﬁ ers that are clauses starting with who, whose, that, or which

I ﬁ nally found the sock stuck to a T-shirt. that was missing.

Telemarketers are sure to be annoying. who call people during dinner.

The computer died. that I recently bought.

Dangling Modiﬁ ers

A dangling modiﬁ er “dangles” because the word or words it is supposed

to modify are not in the sentence. Dangling modiﬁ ers usually appear at

the beginning of a sentence and may seem to modify the noun or pronoun

that immediately follow — but they don’t.

ordered only

almost

Using cash,

Wearing an oven mitt,

Looking out the window of the plane, they

to the house for his sister.

for ice cream in her glove compartment.

With binoculars, we

that was missing

who call people during dinner

that I recently bought

■ For more on

how to use relative

pronouns — who,

which, and that — see

page 592.

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 29 • Misplaced and Dangling Modiﬁ ers 533

Correct dangling modiﬁ ers either by adding the word being modiﬁ ed

right after the opening modiﬁ er or by adding the word being modiﬁ ed to

the opening modiﬁ er. Note that to correct a dangling modiﬁ er, you might

have to reword the sentence.

DANGLING Talking on the telephone, the dinner burned.

[Was the dinner talking on the telephone? No.]

CORRECT While Sharon was talking on the telephone, the dinner

burned.

The dinner burned while Sharon was talking on the

telephone.

DANGLING While waiting in line, the alarms went off.

[Were the alarms waiting in line? No.]

CORRECT While waiting in line, I heard the alarms go off.

While I was waiting in line, the alarms went off.

Even if readers can guess what you are trying to say, misplaced and

dangling modiﬁ ers are awkward. Be sure to look for and correct any mis-

placed and dangling modiﬁ ers in your writing.

Practice Correcting Misplaced

and Dangling Modiﬁ ers

PRACTICE 1 CORRECTING MISPLACED MODIFIERS

Find and correct any misplaced modiﬁ ers in the following sentences. If a sen-

tence is correct, write a “C” next to it.

EXAMPLE: Many nurses are being trained to perform therapeutic

touch.

who work in U.S. hospitals.

1. Are there energy ﬁ elds that can be touched by trained professionals in a

human body?

2. People claim to be able to feel and move invisible energy ﬁ elds who prac-

tice therapeutic touch.

who work in U.S. hospitals

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EDITING ESSAYS

534 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns

3. According to believers in therapeutic touch, an energy ﬁ eld can cause

pain and illness that is out of alignment.

4. A practitioner treating a patient does not touch the sick person.

5. After a session of therapeutic touch, many patients just report that they

felt better without knowing why.

6. Emily Rosa, the twelve-year-old daughter of a nurse, made news when her

experiment appeared in an important medical journal to test practitioners

of therapeutic touch.

7. In her experiment, practitioners were supposed to use the invisible energy

ﬁ eld to determine when her hands were near theirs who could not see

Emily.

8. Even though guessing should have allowed a 50 percent accuracy rating,

the practitioners Emily tested were correct only 44 percent of the time.

9. Anyone who can demonstrate the ability to detect a human energy ﬁ eld

can claim a million-dollar prize in a similar experiment.

10. The prize has not been awarded yet, which is offered by a foundation that

investigates supernatural claims.

PRACTICE 2 CORRECTING DANGLING MODIFIERS

Find and correct any dangling modiﬁ ers in the following sentences. If a sen-

tence is correct, write “C” next to it. It may be necessary to add new words

or ideas to some sentences.

EXAMPLE: Selling a used car, a resale will bring a better price than

a trade-in.

1. Trading in a used car, a buyer will offer a better price if the car is clean.

2. Hiring a professional detailer, a used car can be given a more polished

appearance.

the owner will get a better price for

■ For more practice

with correcting mis-

placed and dangling

modiﬁ ers, visit Exer-

cise Central at

bedfordstmartins

.com/realessays.

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 29 • Misplaced and Dangling Modiﬁ ers 535

3. Looking like new, the owner can get the best price for a trade-in or a resale.

4. With essential repairs completed, a used car should be in good working

order to be sold.

5. Approved as safe and drivable by a reputable mechanic, minor mechani-

cal problems may not have to be ﬁ xed.

6. Winning points for honesty, prospective buyers should know about a used

car’s minor problems.

7. Deducted from the asking price, the owner can be fair with a buyer.

8. No matter how expensive, decorative lighting and other details usually do

not add to the value of a car.

9. With higher than usual mileage, the owner may have to reduce the asking

price.

10. Advertising in a local newspaper, a used car is likely to reach its target

market.

Edit Paragraphs and Your Own Writing

Edit the following paragraphs for misplaced and dangling modiﬁ ers, refer-

ring to the chart on page 538 as you need to.

EDITING REVIEW 1

(1) When ordering items online, shipping and handling costs can

make or break a business. (2) By charging too much, customers may

abandon their order. (3) A customer may never return to the site who

feels that shipping and handling charges are too high. (4) Most people

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EDITING ESSAYS

536 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns

have shipped packages, so they know how much shipping costs at least

occasionally. (5) Going too far in the other direction, some online custom-

ers get free shipping and handling. (6) The sites lose money that offer free

shipping and may have to either close down for good or start charging

shipping fees. (7) Most shipping companies charge by weight. (8) Buying

from the sites that use these shippers, the online sites must either charge

a ﬂ at fee, which may be too much or too little, or make the customer wait

until the order is complete to ﬁ nd out the shipping fee. (9) Neither option

is perfect, so a business must choose the least unattractive solution that

wants to keep expanding its online customer base.

EDITING REVIEW 2

MEMO

To: All staff

From: Sara Hollister

Re: Dress code

(1) After encouraging employees to wear casual clothing on Fridays,

the casual dress code was soon in force all week long. (2) With some un-

certainty about what was appropriate casual wear, a memo was circulated

last year with guidelines for dress. (3) Wearing khakis and polo shirts, suits

and ties became very rare in the halls of Wilson and Hollister. (4) Some

younger staff members almost never wore anything but jeans. (5) Arriving

in the ofﬁ ce in a Hawaiian shirt, some employees hardly recognized Mr.

Wilson without his trademark pinstriped suit. (6) Believing that informality

improved productivity and morale, the casual dress code was well liked.

(7) The company must recommend for several reasons changes in

the dress policy now. (8) The human resources department feels that the

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