Anker Susan. Real Essays with Readings with 2009 MLA Update
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EDITING ESSAYS
Chapter 30 • Coordination and Subordination 547
When the dependent clause ends a sentence (as in the preceding ex-
amples), it usually does not need to be preceded by a comma unless it is
showing a contrast. When the dependent clause begins a sentence, use a
comma to separate it from the rest of the sentence.
Subordinating
conjunction
Subordinate
idea
,
Main
idea
Although I had a terrible cold , I decided to go to
work.
Unless I absolutely can’t
, I hate to miss a day.
get there
PRACTICE 5 JOINING IDEAS THROUGH SUBORDINATION
In the following sentences, fi ll in the blank with an appropriate subordinating
conjunction. In some cases, there may be more than one correct answer.
EXAMPLE: Smokey Bear spent most of his life in the National Zoo in
Washington, D.C.,
where
he received so much mail that he had
his own zip code.
1. Smokey Bear began reminding people that “Only you can prevent forest
fi res” in 1944 government offi cials during World War II were
concerned about preserving valuable resources like trees.
2. However, Smokey Bear existed only as a cartoon a tragedy
occurred six years later.
3. a fi re destroyed part of Lincoln National Forest in 1950, forest
rangers found a badly burned bear cub clinging to a tree.
4. The “real” Smokey Bear became a celebrity the public heard
his story.
5. After his death, Smokey Bear’s body was returned to New Mexico
he could be buried near his former home.
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EDITING ESSAYS
548 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns
6. The character of Smokey Bear has been used continuously in U.S. fi re
safety campaigns it fi rst appeared more than fi fty years ago.
7. Smokey has also appeared in public service announcements in Mexico,
he is known as Simon.
8. Recently, Smokey’s famous line was changed to “Only you can prevent
wildfi res” research indicated that most adults did not believe
they could cause a wildfi re.
9. However, humans can easily set fi res they discard cigarettes
carelessly, burn trash on windy days, or even park a car with a catalytic
converter in a dry fi eld.
10. the campaign heads into its seventh decade, Smokey is as recog-
nizable to most Americans as Mickey Mouse and Santa Claus.
PRACTICE 6 COMBINING SENTENCES THROUGH
SUBORDINATION
Combine each pair of sentences into a single sentence by using an appropri-
ate subordinating conjunction either at the beginning or between the two
sentences.
Although
EXAMPLE: Michael had heard about lengthy delays for some air
travelers, he
travelers. He had never experienced one himself.
1. His turn came on a fl ight back to school in Austin from Minneapolis. He
was staying with his family during winter break.
2. The fl ight took off on time and was going smoothly. He had heard some
fellow passengers talking about a possible storm in the Austin area.
3. He paid no attention to the rumors. The pilot announced to the passen-
gers that the fl ight was landing in Wichita, Kansas, due to severe weather
in Austin.
^
^
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EDITING ESSAYS
Chapter 30 • Coordination and Subordination 549
4. According to the pilot, they would be taking off again soon. He expected
the weather in Texas to clear.
5. Michael sat in his seat and tried to sleep. He heard some people ask the
fl ight attendants to allow the passengers to wait in the air terminal.
6. Everyone had waited over two hours. The fl ight crew told the passengers
to go out to the air terminal.
7. Five hours later, Michael and his fellow passengers still didn’t know when
they would be able to resume their fl ight. There were no announcements
from anybody about what would happen next.
8. An announcement fi nally came. The passengers learned that the bad
weather in Texas prevented the fl ight from continuing on to Austin.
9. Michael was already upset by the hours-long delay with no announcements.
He was even angrier at the thought of sleeping overnight in the air terminal.
10. He was sitting uncomfortably in his terminal seat, feeling hopeless. A few
other passengers asked him if he wanted to join them in renting a car to
complete the trip to Austin, which he did.
Edit Paragraphs and Your Own Writing
Join the underlined sentences by using either coordination or subordina-
tion, referring to the chart on page 552 as you need to. Be sure to punctu-
ate correctly.
EDITING REVIEW 1 (6 sets of sentences to be joined)
(1) A patient misunderstands a doctor’s explanation and recom-
mendations. (2) There can be serious consequences. (3) If medications
are not properly used or preventive measures are not taken, health risks
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EDITING ESSAYS
550 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns
increase. (4) These problems are common with people of all ages, races,
and educational levels. (5) They are especially prevalent among the
elderly. (6) The individual patient, of course, is affected in a personal and
sometimes life-threatening way, but society in general also has to pay for
the resulting increased medical costs. (7) A patient follows these simple
guidelines. (8) He or she can better understand what is wrong and what
to do about it. (9) First of all, make absolutely sure that the doctor’s in-
structions are understandable. (10) The doctor will probably ask if there
are any questions. (11) Think over each step of the instructions, and ask
for a clearer explanation of anything that’s confusing. (12) Repeat the
instructions back to the doctor and ask, “Is that right?” (13) Another tip is
to take notes on what the doctor recommends. (14) Either write the notes
yourself or bring along someone else to jot them down. (15) It is easy to
feel intimidated by being partially unclothed in the examination room.
(16) Ask to hear the necessary instructions in the doctor’s offi ce. (17) You
are fully clothed. (18) Finally, follow the doctor’s instructions carefully,
for recovery depends just as much on the patient as on the doctor.
EDITING REVIEW 2 (7 sets of sentences to be joined)
(1) Al-Qurain is a community in the small Middle Eastern country of
Kuwait. (2) Thirty years ago, Kuwait City offi cials began to use an aban-
doned quarry in al-Qurain as a garbage dump. (3) None of them thought
the area would ever be populated. (4) Fifteen years ago, the government
began to build subsidized housing in al-Qurain. (5) The dump was
supposed to be closed. (6) Kuwaitis continued to use the al-Qurain
landfi ll. (7) People soon lived all around the foul-smelling garbage pit.
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EDITING ESSAYS
Chapter 30 • Coordination and Subordination 551
(8) Residents of the area were teased and insulted for living in the neigh-
borhood. (9) Al-Qurain now houses sixty thousand people.
(10) For years, the dump sickened people around it. (11) Sometimes
the garbage caught fi re and sent fumes into the homes nearby. (12) Finally,
the Kuwaiti Environmental Protection Agency decided to try to help.
(13) The agency gets little government funding. (14) It needed to rely
on donations for the cleanup effort. (15) Soon, a mountain of garbage
had been removed. (16) The leveled site was covered with pebbles from
the desert. (17) Engineers found a way to siphon methane gas from the
seventy-fi ve-foot-deep garbage pit. (18) Kuwait is famous for oil produc-
tion. (19) A methane-powered generator may soon provide electricity for
al-Qurain residents. (20) The air in the neighborhood now ranks among
the country’s cleanest. (21) For many environmentalists and residents of
this neighborhood, the cleanup of al-Qurain is almost a miracle.
PRACTICE 7 EDITING YOUR OWN WRITING
FOR COORDINATION AND SUBORDINATION
As a fi nal practice, edit a piece of your own writing for coordination and
subordination. It can be a paper you are working on for this course, a paper
you’ve already fi nished, a paper for another course, a recent piece of writing
from your work or everyday life, or your idea journal entry. You may want to
use the chart on page 552 as you edit.
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EDITING ESSAYS
552 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns
HOW TO EDIT FOR
COORDINATION AND
SUBORDINATION
Subordination can be used
when one idea is more
important than the other
(see p. 546).
Coordination can be used
when the ideas are
equally important
(see p. 540).
You can coordinate
two ideas with a
coordinating
conjunction and a
comma.
The coordinating
conjunctions are and,
but, for, nor, or, so,
and yet.
You can coordinate two
ideas with a semicolon
alone or with a
semicolon and a
conjunctive adverb.
Some common conjunctive
adverbs are also, however,
instead, still, then, and
therefore.
You can join sentences
with subordination by
using a subordinating
conjunction.
Some common
subordinating
conjunctions are after,
because, before,
unless, and while.
Coordination and subordination are
ways to join two sentences into one.
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553
31
Parallelism
Balancing Ideas
Understand What Parallelism Is
Parallelism in writing means that similar parts in a sentence are balanced
by having the same structure. Put nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs, and
phrases with phrases.
NOT PARALLEL I like math more than studying English.
[Math is a noun, but studying English is a phrase.]
PARALLEL I like math more than English.
NOT PARALLEL In class, we read, worked in groups, and were writing an
essay.
[Verbs must be in the same tense to be parallel.]
PARALLEL In class, we read, worked in groups, and wrote an essay.
NOT PARALLEL Last night we went to a movie and dancing at a club.
[To a movie and dancing at a club are both phrases, but they have different forms.
To a movie should be paired with another prepositional phrase: to a dance club.]
PARALLEL Last night we went to a movie and to a dance club.
■ IDEA JOURNAL
Write about a movie
you saw recently, and
explain why you liked
or disliked it.
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EDITING ESSAYS
554 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns
Practice Writing Parallel Sentences
Parallelism in Pairs and Lists
When two or more items in a series are joined by the word and or or, use
a similar form for each item.
NOT PARALLEL The fund-raiser included a bake sale and also holding an
auction.
PARALLEL The fund-raiser included a bake sale and an auction.
NOT PARALLEL Students got items for the auction from local businesses,
from their families, and ran an advertisement in the
newspaper.
PARALLEL Students got items for the auction from local businesses,
from their families, and from people who responded to a
newspaper advertisement.
PRACTICE 1 MAKING PAIRS AND LISTS PARALLEL
In each sentence, underline the parts of the sentence that should be parallel.
Then, edit the sentence to make it parallel.
EXAMPLE: Being a single parent can make the morning routine
diffi cult, and it can be stressful without the proper
organization.
1. This is important because the beginning of the day affects you, and your
children are affected as well.
2. Get a good start by planning ahead, setting a few rules, and also be sure
to keep a cool head.
3. On the night before, make as many preparations for morning as possible,
including preparing lunches, getting out clothes, and it’s important to
organize schoolbooks.
4. A quick cold breakfast can be easy, tasty, and it can provide good
nutrition.
and stressful
^
■ Answers to odd-
numbered practice
items are at the back
of the book.
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EDITING ESSAYS
Chapter 31 • Parallelism 555
5. Cold cereal with milk and fruit, for example, is delicious and has the
added advantage of giving you plenty of vitamins and minerals.
6. Allowing the kids to watch TV in the morning can cause all sorts of
problems, or you can let the TV work to your advantage.
7. Set a rule that the kids must eat breakfast, wash up, be sure of brush-
ing their teeth, get dressed, and put their shoes on before they turn on
the TV.
8. Prevent frantic, last-minute searches by establishing specifi c places for the
items each of you needs for the day, such as car keys, backpacks, all pairs
of shoes that the kids will wear during the day, and coats.
9. Save for the evening time-consuming, stressful tasks such as teaching a
child to tie shoes or becoming a referee who can objectively discuss both
sides in a dispute between kids.
10. Set aside some “myself time,” in which you stop rushing around, taking
a deep breath, and calmly prepare for your day.
Parallelism in Comparisons
In comparisons, the items being compared should have parallel structures.
Comparisons often use the words than or as. When you edit for parallel-
ism, make sure that the items on either side of the comparison word are
parallel.
NOT PARALLEL Driving downtown is as fast as the bus.
PARALLEL Driving downtown is as fast as taking the bus.
NOT PARALLEL Running is more tiring than walks.
PARALLEL Running is more tiring than walking. Or,
A run is more tiring than a walk.
■ For more practice
with parallelism, visit
Exercise Central at
bedfordstmartins
.com/realessays.
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EDITING ESSAYS
556 Part Five • Other Grammar Concerns
To make the parts of a sentence parallel, you may need to add or drop
a word or two.
NOT PARALLEL A multiple-choice test is easier than
answering an essay question.
PARALLEL, WORD ADDED Taking a multiple-choice test is easier than
answering an essay question.
NOT PARALLEL The cost of a train ticket is less than to pay
the cost of a plane ticket.
PARALLEL, WORDS DROPPED The cost of a train ticket is less than the cost
of a plane ticket.
PRACTICE 2 MAKING COMPARISONS PARALLEL
In each sentence, underline the parts of the sentence that should be parallel.
Then, edit the sentence to make it parallel.
EXAMPLE: New appliances are usually much more energy-effi cient
than running old ones.
1. For many people, getting the household electric bill is more worrisome
than to pay the rent each month.
2. The amount of the rent bill usually changes much less from month to
month than what an energy company charges.
3. Saving money appeals to many consumers more than to use less electricity.
4. Compact fl uorescent light bulbs use less energy than continuing to use
regular incandescent bulbs.
5. In most households, running the refrigerator uses more energy than the
use of all other appliances.
6. Many people worry that buying a new refrigerator is more expensive than
if they simply keep the old one.
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