Anker Susan. Real Essays with Readings with 2009 MLA Update
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WRITING ESSAYS
Chapter 12 • Description 197
COLLEGE
• Describe your favorite place on campus so that a reader understands
why you like to be there.
• Describe what you imagine a character looks like in a novel you have
read.
• Describe an event or a setting that you learned about in one of your
courses.
WORK
• Describe an area of your workplace that is not worker friendly.
• Describe a product or service that your company produces.
• Describe a specifi c area at work that you see every day but haven’t really
noticed. Look at it with new eyes.
EVERYDAY LIFE
• Describe a favorite photograph.
• Describe a favorite food without naming it. Include how it looks, smells,
and tastes.
• Describe a local landmark, and have others in the class identify it after
reading your description.
TIPS FOR TACKLING DESCRIPTION
1.
Read the assignment carefully, highlighting key words. Often
a description assignment includes the word describe, but you
may need to use description in other kinds of writing, too. As
you give examples in your writing, try to imagine them, and
use colors, shapes, sizes, smells, textures, tastes to make them
clear to readers.
2. Think about your topic and the overall impression that you
want to create. For example, if you think the student lounge
is a dump, what about it makes it seem so — the condition
of the furniture, its arrangement, the color of the walls, the
smell? What else?
3. Write down the impression you want to create, and use that
sentence as a draft thesis statement.
4. Fill in the details in words, assuming your reader has never
seen your subject as you have.
■ ESL: Ask ESL stu-
dents to describe a
signifi cant place in
their native country or
current neighborhood.
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WRITING ESSAYS
198 Part Two • Writing Different Kinds of Essays
ASSIGNMENT 2 WRITING ABOUT AN IMAGE
Write a descriptive essay about the messy space shown below or about a similar
space in your own home or workplace. Be sure to use plenty of details.
ASSIGNMENT 3 WRITING TO SOLVE A PROBLEM
THE PROBLEM: A wealthy alumna has given your college money for a new stu-
dent lounge. The president has selected a group of students (including you)
to advise him on the lounge and has asked that the group be as specifi c as
possible in its recommendations.
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WRITING ESSAYS
Chapter 12 • Description 199
WRITING GUIDE: DESCRIPTION
STEPS IN DESCRIPTION HOW TO DO THE STEPS
Focus.
■
■ Think about what you want to describe and the overall
impression you want to give your readers. Review the four
basics of good description on page 185.
Prewrite to explore your topic.
See Chapter 4 for more on
prewriting.
■
■ Write some ideas about impressions you have when you
think about your topic.
■
■ Use a prewriting technique to explore these impressions,
generating details that appeal to the fi ve senses.
THE ASSIGNMENT: Working on your own or, preferably, in a small group, write
a description of an ideal student lounge to send to the president. Be sure to
think about what various purposes the lounge should serve, where it should
be located, what it should have in it, and what it should look like.
RESOURCES: Review the chart on pages 868–69 for advice about problem
solving. Also, search the Web using the words student lounges and design. You
might also go to the library and look for design or architecture books and
magazines. List any Web sites or publications that you consult.
ASSIGNMENT 4 WRITING ABOUT READINGS
The assignments that follow ask you to read one or more different descrip-
tions and draw from them to write an essay.
• Read Alex Espinoza’s “An American in Mexico” (p. 766), and review
his description on page 192. Are there similarities between the two
pieces? Drawing from both pieces, write a more detailed description
of the neighborhood in which Alex might have grown up. Use your
imagination.
• Read Debra Marquart’s “Chores” (p. 770). Using her essay as a model,
think about an activity that you regularly perform, and describe it in de-
tail. Include what other people are involved, what is most intense about
the activity, and how it begins, proceeds, and ends.
Follow the steps in the Writing Guide below to help you prewrite, draft, re-
vise, and edit your description. Check off each step as you complete it.
■ RESOURCES
Additional Resources
for Teaching REAL
ESSAYS has visual
planning forms for
description and the
other essays covered
in Part Two. These
forms are also online at
bedfordstmartins
.com/realessays.
continued
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WRITING ESSAYS
200 Part Two • Writing Different Kinds of Essays
STEPS IN DESCRIPTION HOW TO DO THE STEPS
Write a thesis statement.
The thesis statement in
description includes the topic
and the main impression about
it that you want to convey to
your reader.
Topic + Main impression =
Thesis
My grandmother’s coat evokes
her image.
See Chapter 5 for more on
writing a thesis statement.
■
■ Review your prewriting, and decide what main impression
you want to create.
■
■ Write a thesis statement that includes your topic and main
impression.
Support your thesis statement.
The major support points in
description are the sensory
details that, together, create
the main impression.
See Chapter 6 for more on
supporting a thesis statement.
■
■ Review your thesis statement and prewriting, and make
other notes.
■
■ Try to fi nd strong sensory details that will support your
main impression and make the topic come alive for your
readers.
■
■ Choose at least three major sensory details that will help
to convey your main impression.
■
■ Add specifi c supporting details that bring to life the major
sensory details. Try to appeal to the senses — sight, sound,
smell, touch, and taste.
Make a plan.
See Chapter 7 for more on
planning.
■
■ Write a plan or an outline for your description that
includes your main support points (the major sensory
details) and supporting details.
■
■ Organize your support using either spatial order or order
of importance. (See the diagram on p. 188.)
Write a draft.
See Chapter 8 for more on
drafting.
■
■ Write an introduction that gets your readers’ interest and
presents your thesis statement. See if you can use one of
the introductory techniques in Chapter 8.
■
■ Using your outline, write a topic sentence for each of the
major supporting details.
■
■ Write body paragraphs that give additional details for
each of the major support points.
■
■ Write a concluding paragraph that reminds readers of
your main point and makes a fi nal observation about
what you are describing.
■
■ Title your essay.
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WRITING ESSAYS
Chapter 12 • Description 201
STEPS IN DESCRIPTION HOW TO DO THE STEPS
Revise your draft.
See Chapter 9 for more
on revising a draft.
■
■ Ask another person to read and comment on your draft.
■
■ Consider how you can make your descriptions more vivid
for readers. To get ideas, refer back to the categories
under Support in Description on page 187 (sight, sound,
smell, taste, and touch).
■
■ Revise your thesis to make it more forceful and vivid.
■
■ Make sure all of the images and details support your
thesis. Add details that make your topic more alive for
your readers, and cut any details that aren’t relevant.
■
■ Reread your introduction, and make changes if it is dull.
■
■ Reread your conclusion to make sure that it is energetic
and convincing and that it reminds your readers of your
main impression.
■
■ Add transitions (space or importance) to connect your
ideas.
■
■ Make at least fi ve changes to your draft to improve unity,
support, or coherence (see pp. 127–40).
■
■ Check to make sure the draft follows the four basics of
good description.
Edit your draft.
See Parts Four through
Seven for more on editing.
■
■ Use the spell checker and grammar checker on your
computer, but also reread your essay carefully to catch any
errors.
■
■ Look for errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation.
Run-on sentences and the proper use of adjectives and
adverbs can be particular problems in description, so focus
fi rst on those. Then, read for fragments, errors in subject-
verb agreement, verb errors, and other areas where you
know you often make mistakes.
■
■ Ask yourself: Is this the best I can do?
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202
You Know This
You use processes
all the time.
• You assemble
something using
the step-by-step
directions.
• You follow rou-
tine processes,
like recycling.
Understand What Process Analysis Is
Process analysis explains either how to do something (so your readers
can do it) or how something works (so your readers can understand it).
Both types of process analysis present the steps involved in the process.
13
Process Analysis
Writing That Explains How Things Happen
FOUR BASICS OF GOOD PROCESS ANALYSIS
1.
It helps readers either perform the steps themselves or under-
stand how something works.
2. It presents the essential steps in the process.
3. It explains the steps in detail.
4. It arranges the steps in a logical order (usually in chronological
order).
In the following paragraph, each number corresponds to one of the
four basics of good process analysis.
1 The Web site MapQuest.com can get you from where you are to
where you want to go in several easy steps. 2 First, type in the Web address
(www.mapquest.com), and wait for the home page to appear. Then, click
on the link titled “Directions.” You will be prompted to type your starting
address and the address of your destination. 3 It’s important to supply
■ IDEA JOURNAL
Write about a goal you
have and what you will
do to accomplish it.
4 Steps
arranged in a
logical order
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WRITING ESSAYS
Chapter 13 • Process Analysis 203
complete information, including the street address, city, and state (or
zip). 2 Next, click on “Get Directions.” This screen will present you with
written directions and a map showing the route to take. 3 The written
directions guide you step-by-step and include the mileage for each step.
The map allows you to zoom in and out to get a better view. Although
sometimes I have found errors in them, MapQuest directions are usually
correct and take me exactly where I want to go.
Whenever you give someone directions about how to do something
or explain how something works, you are using process analysis. Here are
some ways you might use process analysis:
COLLEGE In an information technology course, you write an essay
explaining the process for implementing a new data
management system.
WORK The offi ce has a new security system, and you are asked
to write a memo to employees explaining how to access
their work areas during and after normal business hours.
EVERYDAY You write directions telling your child how to operate the
LIFE microwave oven.
Main Point in Process Analysis
Your purpose in process analysis is to explain a process so that readers
can either do it themselves or understand how it works. Your main point
lets your readers know what you think about that process — for example,
whether it’s easy or complicated. The topic sentence of the paragraph on
page 202 does just that:
The Web site MapQuest.com can get you from where you are to where
you want to go in several easy steps.
A thesis statement for a process analysis usually identifi es the process and
the point you want to make about it. The thesis should also suggest what
you want your readers to know or learn about the process.
Process + Main point = Thesis statement
Wallpapering a room takes careful preparation and application.
■ DISCUSSION
Have the class discuss
the process of learning
how to drive, play a
sport, or play a musical
instrument. Then, list
similarities and differ-
ences between learning
this activity and learn-
ing how to write.
4 Steps
arranged in a
logical order
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WRITING ESSAYS
204 Part Two • Writing Different Kinds of Essays
In process analysis, include your thesis statement in your introduction
so that readers know from the start what the process and the purpose are.
Support in Process Analysis
A clear process analysis presents all the essential steps in the process;
these steps constitute the major support. Each step is explained by sup-
porting details. For example, the writer of the thesis Learning how to use
the advanced functions on my computer is frustrating might identify several
essential steps and the details to explain each step.
ESSENTIAL STEPS
• Step 1: Using the Help feature
SUPPORTING DETAILS
Trying to fi nd the right search terms
Finding that none work
• Step 2: Consulting a reference book such as Word 2007 for Dummies
SUPPORTING DETAILS
Trying to fi nd the function in the table of contents and index
First fi nding advice that isn’t really what you need
Finding the right explanation
Deciding that you don’t want to use the function
• Step 3: Trying to undo automatic functions
SUPPORTING DETAILS
Reading about the Undo function and trying it with no luck
Finally calling a friend
Etc.
Make sure to include all of the essential steps in the process, particu-
larly if you want your readers to be able to do something using only your
instructions. Read the following process analysis example. What essential
step is missing?
Please do the laundry before I get home. The clothes are in the baskets
next to the machine. One of the baskets has all dark clothes. Put these in
the washing machine, with the heaviest, biggest items on the bottom. You
■ RESOURCES
For online writing and
grammar resources, go
to bedfordstmartins
.com/rewritingbasics.
■ For online exer-
cises on main point
and support, visit
Exercise Central at
bedfordstmartins
.com/realessays.
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WRITING ESSAYS
Chapter 13 • Process Analysis 205
can fi ll the machine to the top, but don’t mash the clothes down. (If you
put in too many clothes, the machine will stall.) After all of the clothes are
in, set the level on Extra High. Then, turn the knob on the left to Warm
Wash, Cool Rinse. Press the Start button. After about half an hour, the
laundry should be done, and you can transfer it to the dryer.
MISSING STEP:
These directions cover loading the machine and operating it,
but they leave out adding the soap.
Organization in
Process Analysis
Because process analysis explains how to do something or how something
works, it usually uses chronological (time) order. Start with the fi rst
step, and then explain each step in the order that it should occur. The plan
for a process analysis often looks like the one on the right.
Add transitional words and sentences to your essay to help readers
follow each step in the process.
■ TEAMWORK
Have students, in pairs,
discuss whether any
other steps are missing.
Introduction with
thesis statement
Includes the process
you are describing
First step in
process
Details about the
fi rst step (how to do
it or how it works)
Second step in
process
Details about the
second step
Third step in
process
Details about the
third step
Conclusion
Reminds readers
of the process
and makes an
observation related
to your main point
PROCESS ANALYSIS
AT A GLANCE
Common Transitions in Process Analysis
after eventually meanwhile soon
as fi nally next then
at last fi rst now when
before last second while
during later since
Read and Analyze Process Analysis
Before writing your own process analysis, read the following three ex-
amples of process analysis — from college, the workplace, and everyday
life — and answer the questions that accompany them.
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WRITING ESSAYS
206 Part Two • Writing Different Kinds of Essays
Process Analysis in College
The following is an excerpt from a textbook used in the fi eld of interper-
sonal communication.
VOCABULARY
The following words are italicized in the excerpt: dilemma, accom-
modate, forsake, ultimate, collaboration, enhance, incompatibility,
empathic, stance, maintain, bogged down. If you don’t know
their meanings, look them up in a dictionary.
COLLABORATIVELY MANAGING
CONFLICT
Steven McCornack
1 Imagine that it’s a few weeks before Thanksgiving, and you and your
new romantic partner are making holiday plans. Each of you has always
shared the day with family. But now that you’re a couple, you face the
obvious dilemma of which family to spend the holiday with. You both
want to share the day together, but neither of you wants to miss your
traditional family gathering. Do you simply ignore the issue, avoiding the
confl ict until it’s too late? Does one of you accommodate the other, and
agree to forsake his or her family’s get-together? Do you compete with
each other, each person trying to dominate the ultimate decision? Or do
you search for a solution that will make both of you happy?
2 The most constructive approach for managing confl ict is collabo-
ration, treating confl ict as a mutual problem-solving challenge rather
than something that must be avoided, accommodated, or competed
over. Collaboration tends to increase relationship satisfaction and to
enhance trust and relational commitment.
3 To use a collaborative approach, openly discuss the incompatibility
of goals or the competition for resources that has fueled your confl ict.
Give equal attention to both persons’ needs and desires. For example,
to collaboratively manage the confl ict over Thanksgiving, you would
honestly discuss the matter with your partner, expressing empathic con-
cern and perspective-taking (“I know this is hard for each of us, and
PAUSE: Have you
ever had such a
confl ict? How did
you discuss it?
What do you ex-
pect the rest of this
piece will discuss?
■ TEACHING TIP
If you have talked
about defi nition, point
out to students that
the second paragraph
defi nes the term col-
laboration while the
excerpt as a whole is
process analysis.
■ For other examples
of process analysis, see
Chapter 46.
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