Anker Susan. Real Essays with Readings with 2009 MLA Update

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WRITING ESSAYS

Chapter 11 • Illustration 177

1. What is the motto of the Student Affairs Strategic Plan?

Where Life and

Learning Intersect

2. Underline four examples of programs sponsored by the Ofﬁ ce of

Student Affairs.

3. What are the three major points that Dr. Gonzalez writes about?

vision statement, mission, core values

4. How do you think Dr. Gonzalez’s background inﬂ uenced his career in

student affairs?

5. Writing mission and vision statements is a common writing task in the

work world. In Dr. Gonzalez’s document, are the examples speciﬁ c or

general, for the most part?

They are general.

Illustration in Everyday Life

The following is an excerpt from Malcolm Gladwell’s best-selling book

Blink, which is about the role of “snap” decisions that we make in life.

VOCABULARY

The following words are italicized in the excerpt: adaptive, uncon-

scious, apparatus, relegating, toggle, spontaneous. If you don’t know

their meanings, look them up in a dictionary.

THE INTERNAL COMPUTER

Malcolm Gladwell

1 The part of our brain that leaps to conclusions is called the adaptive

unconscious, and the study of this kind of decision-making is one of the

most important new ﬁ elds in psychology. The adaptive unconscious is a

kind of giant computer that quickly and quietly processes a lot of the data

we need in order to keep functioning as human beings. When you walk out

into the street and suddenly realize that a truck is bearing down on you, do

you have time to think through all your options? Of course not. The only

way that human beings could ever have survived as a species for as long

as we have is that we’ve developed another kind of decision-making ap-

paratus that’s capable of making very quick judgments based on very little

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WRITING ESSAYS

178 Part Two • Writing Different Kinds of Essays

information. As the psychologist Timothy D. Wilson writes in his book,

Strangers to Ourselves, “The mind operates most efﬁ ciently by relegating a

good deal of high-level, sophisticated thinking to the unconscious, just as a

modern jetliner is able to ﬂ y on automatic pilot with little or no input from

the human, ‘conscious’ pilot. The adaptive unconscious does an excellent

job of sizing up the world, warning people of danger, setting goals, and

initiating action in a sophisticated and efﬁ cient manner.”

2 Wilson says that we toggle back and forth between our conscious and

unconscious modes of thinking, depending on the situation. A decision

to invite a co-worker over for dinner is conscious. You think it over. You

decide it will be fun. You ask him or her. The spontaneous decision to

argue with that same co-worker is made unconsciously — by a different

part of the brain and motivated by a different part of your personality.

3 Whenever we meet someone for the ﬁ rst time, whenever we interview

someone for a job, whenever we react to a new idea, whenever we’re faced

with making a decision quickly and under stress, we use that second part

of our brain. How long, for example, did it take you to decide how good

a teacher one of your professors was? A class? Two classes? A semester?

The psychologist Nalini Ambady once gave students three ten-second

videotapes of a teacher — with the sound turned off — and found they

had no difﬁ culty at all coming up with a rating of the teacher’s effective-

ness. Then Ambady cut the clips to ﬁ ve seconds, and the ratings were

the same. They were remarkably consistent even when she showed the

students just two seconds of videotape. Then Ambady compared those

snap judgments of teacher effectiveness with evaluations of those same

professors made by their students after a full semester of classes, and she

found that they were also essentially the same. A person watching a silent,

two-second video clip of a teacher he or she has never met will reach con-

clusions about how good that teacher is that are very similar to those of

a student who has sat in the teacher’s class for an entire semester. That’s

the power of the adaptive unconscious.

— From Malcolm Gladwell, Blink: The Power of Thinking without

Thinking (New York: Little, Brown, 2005), pp. 11–12

PAUSE: Summarize

what the adap-

tive unconscious is.

Give an example

from your own

experience.

PAUSE: Summarize

Nalini Ambady’s

experiment.

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WRITING ESSAYS

Chapter 11 • Illustration 179

1. How does the adaptive unconscious help us?

It helps us size up the

world, set goals, and act efﬁ ciently.

2. What is the one example Gladwell gives here of the adaptive uncon-

scious?

rating a teacher

3. What is your reaction to that example? Were you surprised?

4. If the teacher was just recovering from the ﬂ u when the videotape was

made, would the tape still be an effective evaluation of the teacher’s

ability?

5. Give an example of a time your adaptive unconscious helped you.

6. Why do you think the title of Gladwell’s book is Blink? What would you

expect the book to give examples of ?

Critical Reading and Writing: Key College Skills

1. Summary. Brieﬂ y summarize each of the three essays in this section,

including the examples each of them gives to demonstrate the main

point.

2. Analysis. Does Luz Medina give enough examples to fulﬁ ll her purpose

(to provide information for the director of Student Affairs)? How does

her piece compare to Dr. Gonzalez’s?

3. Synthesis. Review Luz’s and Dr. Gonzalez’s writings. Would Luz’s

ﬁ ndings help achieve Dr. Gonzalez’s vision, mission, and core values?

How? How could the example that Malcolm Gladwell gives be used to

improve the student experience?

4. Evaluation. Using the four basics of good illustration as a measure,

which of the three selections is the best? Why? Give examples to support

your opinion.

Write an Illustration Essay

In this section, you will write your own illustration essay based on one

of the following assignments. Before you begin to write, review the four

basics of good illustration on page 167. Also, read the Tips for Tackling

Illustration in the box that follows.

■ TEACHING TIP

Assign students to

spend a day or two lis-

tening for how people

use illustration in

conversation, keeping

notes in their journals.

Also ask them to note

how illustration in

speech compares with

illustration in writing.

Answers will vary but should include that Luz’s writing is

more speciﬁ c than

Dr. Gonzalez’s.

■ TEACHING TIP

The four Critical

Reading and Writing

assignments that follow

can be done either in

writing or in a class

discussion.

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WRITING ESSAYS

180 Part Two • Writing Different Kinds of Essays

ASSIGNMENT 1 WRITING ABOUT COLLEGE,

WORK, AND EVERYDAY LIFE

Write an illustration essay on one of the following topics or on a topic of your

own choice.

COLLEGE

• Discuss some of the activities, services, and programs offered on your

campus.

• Write about what you expect to get out of college.

• Write about something you learned in another course, and give

examples to explain it to a friend who hasn’t taken the course.

WORK

• Tell someone applying for a job like yours what his or her typical

responsibilities might be.

• Explain to your supervisor your claim that there is too much work to be

done in the time allotted.

• Demonstrate to an interviewer the following statement: “I am a very

detail-oriented employee.”

EVERYDAY LIFE

• Write a letter to your landlord about how your apartment’s maintenance

needs to be done more regularly.

TIPS FOR TACKLING ILLUSTRATION

Read the assignment carefully, highlighting key words. An

illustration assignment won’t use the word illustrate, but it

may say give examples of or use speciﬁ c examples to, explain,

or discuss. All writing assignments, illustration or other types,

call for detailed examples.

2. Think of the main point you want to make, and write it

down.

3. For each example, think how you can explain it clearly to your

readers.

4. Work on answering the questions, “Like what? What do you

mean?”

■ Use the chart on

page 170 to help you

organize.

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WRITING ESSAYS

Chapter 11 • Illustration 181

• Write a letter to a friend in which you explain that your (mother, father,

sibling, sweetheart) is the most (selﬁ sh, generous, irresponsible, capable)

person you know.

• Name the most inﬂ uential person in your life, and give examples of his

or her characteristics.

ASSIGNMENT 2 WRITING ABOUT AN IMAGE

The public service announcement below uses illustration to express the differ-

ence between being “perfect” and being a “perfect parent.” Write an illustra-

tion essay in which you give examples of the qualities that, in your view, make

a “perfect parent.”

■ RESOURCES

Additional Resources

for Teaching REAL ESSAYS

has visual planning

forms for illustration

and the other essays

covered in Part Two.

These forms are

also online at

bedfordstmartins

.com/realessays.

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WRITING ESSAYS

182 Part Two • Writing Different Kinds of Essays

ASSIGNMENT 3 WRITING TO SOLVE A PROBLEM

THE PROBLEM: A good friend of yours is being sexually harassed at work by a

supervisor who is not her boss. Although she has tried to let the person know

that the advances are not welcome, the offending behaviors haven’t stopped.

Your friend is afraid that if she complains to her boss, she will be ﬁ red. She

asks your advice about what to do.

THE ASSIGNMENT: Working on your own or with a small group, give your friend

some advice about how she could handle the problem. Try to give her several

good resources to think about or use. Don’t forget to include resources that

her company might offer.

RESOURCES: Review the chart on pages 868–69 for tips about problem solving.

Also, check some Web sites for ideas about dealing with sexual harassment.

You can start by typing advice on sexual harassment into a search engine. List

any Web sites you use.

ASSIGNMENT 4 WRITING ABOUT READINGS

Choose one of the following options:

• Read Kathleen Vail’s essay, “Words That Wound” (p. 759), and review

Juan Gonzalez’s piece on page 174. Write a short essay explaining

how schools can affect the quality of students’ lives. Give examples of

both positive and negative effects, drawing from Vail’s essay and your

own experience. You might want to write a thesis that makes use of

Gonzalez’s phrase “where life and learning intersect.”

• Read Monique Rizer’s essay, “When Students Are Parents” (p. 156),

and Luz Medina’s report (p. 171). Write a letter to Juan Gonzalez that

gives examples of programs that the Division of Student Affairs could

offer to help students. Include examples from your own experience, too.

Follow the steps in the Writing Guide starting on the next page to help you

prewrite, draft, revise, and edit your illustration. Check off each step as you

complete it.

■ Be sure to cite and

document any sources

you use in your

papers. For advice, see

Chapter 21.

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WRITING ESSAYS

Chapter 11 • Illustration 183

WRITING GUIDE: ILLUSTRATION

STEPS IN ILLUSTRATION HOW TO DO THE STEPS

Focus.

■

■ Think about what you want to explain and who will read

your illustration essay. Review the four basics of good

illustration on page 167.

Prewrite to explore your

topic.

See Chapter 4 for more on

prewriting.

■

■ Use a prewriting technique to explore your topic and the

things that are important about it to you.

■

■ Narrow your ideas to a topic you can write about in a short

essay, and generate examples that would demonstrate what

you want to say about your topic.

Write a thesis statement.

Topic + main point =

Thesis

Homeschooling is beneﬁ cial to

both the child and the parent.

See Chapter 5 for more on

writing a thesis statement.

■

■ Decide what is important to you about your topic.

■

■ Write a working thesis statement that presents your topic

and your point about that topic.

Support your thesis

statement.

The major support points in

illustration are the examples

you give to demonstrate

or prove your thesis. These

examples will become the

topic sentences for the body

paragraphs.

See Chapter 6 for more on

supporting a thesis statement.

■

■ To come up with examples, assume someone has read your

thesis and asked, “What do you mean?” or “Like what?”

■

■ Use a prewriting technique to help you get ideas for

examples.

■

■ Choose at least three examples that will show your readers

what you mean.

■

■ Reread your prewriting to ﬁ nd supporting details.

■

■ Find additional supporting details by asking yourself more

questions: What do I mean? How? In what ways?

■

■ For each of your examples, add supporting details that

will help your readers understand how the example

demonstrates your main point.

Make a plan.

See Chapter 7 for more on

planning.

■

■ Arrange your major support examples in order of

importance, leading up to the one you think will have most

impact on your readers.

■

■ Make a plan or outline for your essay that includes your

main support points (your examples) and supporting details

for each example. (See the diagram on p. 170.)

Write a draft.

See Chapter 8 for more on

drafting.

■

■ Write an introduction that gets your readers’ interest and

presents your thesis statement. See if you can use one of the

introductory techniques in Chapter 8.

continued

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WRITING ESSAYS

184 Part Two • Writing Different Kinds of Essays

STEPS IN ILLUSTRATION HOW TO DO THE STEPS

Write a draft (cont.).

■

■ Using your outline, write a topic sentence for each of the

major examples.

■

■ Write body paragraphs that give speciﬁ c details about each

example.

■

■ Write a concluding paragraph that reminds your readers of

your main point and makes a ﬁ nal observation.

■

■ Title your essay.

Revise your draft.

See Chapter 9 for more on

revising.

■

■ Imagine that you are a reader, or ask someone else to read

and comment on your draft. Look for the following:

__ Examples and details that don’t really demonstrate your

thesis

__ Places where you would stop and think, “I don’t get it,”

because there isn’t enough concrete information

__ Places where the examples need transitions to connect ideas

and move a reader smoothly from one idea to the next

■

■ Reread your thesis statement. Revise it so that your point is

more concrete and forceful.

■

■ Reread your introduction, and make changes if it is dull or

weak.

■

■ Reread your conclusion to make sure it is energetic and

drives home your point.

■

■ Make at least ﬁ ve changes to your draft to improve unity,

support, or coherence (see pp. 127–40).

■

■ Check to make sure the draft follows the four basics of good

illustration.

Edit your draft.

See Parts Four through Seven

for more on editing.

■

■ Use the spell checker and grammar checker on your

computer, but also reread your essay carefully to catch any

errors.

■

■ Look for errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation.

Punctuation may be a special problem in illustration (see

Chapters 37–40).

■

■ Focus also on sentence fragments, run-ons, errors in subject-

verb agreement, verb errors, and other areas where you

know you often make mistakes.

■

■ Ask yourself: Is this the best I can do?

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185

You Know This

You use description often.

• You describe one person to

another.

• You place

an ad to sell

something.

Understand What Description Is

Description is writing that creates a clear and vivid impression of the

topic. Description translates your experience of a person, place, or thing

into words, often by appealing to the senses — sight, hearing, smell, taste,

and touch.

Description

Writing That Creates Pictures in Words

FOUR BASICS OF GOOD DESCRIPTION

It creates a main impression — an overall effect, feeling, or

image — about the topic.

2. It uses speciﬁ c examples to support the main impression.

3. It supports those examples with details that appeal to the

senses — sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch.

4. It brings a person, place, or physical object to life for the

reader.

In the following paragraph, each number corresponds to one of the

four basics of good description.

1 Nojoqui Falls is a special place to me because it is very beautiful,

and I have good memories of visiting the falls with my parents. 2 At the

■ IDEA JOURNAL

Write about the most

beautiful, the most

interesting, or the

ugliest chair, car,

T-shirt, or other object

you’ve ever seen.

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WRITING ESSAYS

186 Part Two • Writing Different Kinds of Essays

start of the trail leading to the falls, the smell and sound of oak trees and

pine trees make visitors feel they’re up for the journey. 3 The sun hit-

ting the trees makes the air fresh with a leafy aroma. Overhead, the wind

blows through the leaves, making a soft noise. 2 Closer to the waterfall,

the shade from the trees creates a shielding blanket. When the sun comes

out, it ﬁ lls the place with light, showing the vapor coming out of the trees

and plants. To the left of the trail are rocks that are positioned perfectly

for viewing the waterfall. 3 Water splashes as it hits the rocks. 2 The wa-

terfall itself is beautiful, like a transparent, sparkling window of diamonds.

3 The water is so clear that objects on the other side are visible. It is like

a never-ending stream of water that splashes onto the rocks.

— Liliana Ramirez, student

Being able to describe something or someone accurately and in detail

is important both in college and in other settings. Describing something

well involves using speciﬁ c, concrete details. Here are some ways that you

might use description:

COLLEGE For a science lab report, you describe the physical and

chemical properties of an element.

WORK You write a letter to your ofﬁ ce cleaning contractor

describing the unacceptable conditions of the ofﬁ ce.

EVERYDAY You describe a jacket that you left at the movies to the

LIFE lost-and-found department.

Main Point in Description

In descriptive writing, your main point conveys the way in which you

want readers to see your topic. In other words, it conveys the main impres-

sion about your topic that you want to get across.

Take another look at the paragraph starting on page 185. What if the

topic sentence had been

I love Nojoqui Falls.

You wouldn’t know why the writer likes the place. But the actual topic

sentence conveys a main impression of the falls and lets you know why this

place is important to the writer:

4 All the

details bring

the falls to life.

■ DISCUSSION

Have students gener-

ate at least ﬁ ve more

examples of uses of

description in college,

work, and everyday

life.

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