Weddings
732
Standing on the steps outside the church, the priest asked them both
if they were legally free to marry. Were they both of age? Were they not
within the forbidden degree of relationship? Were they both freely consent-
ing to this union? Either before or after their vows, the priest joined the
couple’s hands.
A typical late medieval wedding vow said, “I take thee, Joan, to my wed-
ded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death us depart, if holy
church will ordain, and thereto I plight thee my troth.” When both parties
had spoken their vows, the priest blessed the wedding ring. Only the bride
received a ring. The groom slipped it onto the bride’s thumb, and then the
fi rst, second, and third fi ngers, saying, “In the name of the Father, the Son,
and the Holy Ghost, with this ring I thee wed.” The ring came to rest on
the fi nger still known as the ring fi nger.
After their vows, the couple gave alms to the poor. Sometimes the priest
delivered a homily on the meaning of marriage, and sometimes they went
into the church for a celebratory Mass. Most weddings were followed by a
feast as splendid as the family could afford. In the cases of castle families,
the feast may have lasted more than one day. Entertainment by minstrels
was customary. The guests also sang and danced to folk tunes.
The charivari was a folk custom that began in rural France but spread to
other countries. Revelers wore masks and made loud noisy music to annoy
a newly married couple. The revelers often ended up brawling, and they
broke local noise ordinances. In some regions and social classes, the feast-
ing guests also accompanied the bride and groom to their new bed.
In medieval Italy, dowries grew to be huge, and both betrothal parties
and wedding feasts were expensive and showy. After the marriage contract
had been notarized, the groom and his family made a procession through
town to the bride’s house. They made as much of a parade as possible, since
it was a public announcement. There, they had a feast with entertainment,
and it may have been the groom’s fi rst chance to meet the bride, who was
often sheltered from public view.
As much as a year could pass between the betrothal ceremony and the
wedding, also called the “ring day.” On that day, the groom and his family
came to the bride’s house with a wedding ring. The wedding guests also at-
tended, and the couple made public vows of consent to the marriage; they
may have been in the public square, outside the bride’s house, or on the
church steps. The notary posed questions to ascertain consent, and then
put the bride’s hand toward the groom to receive a ring. If a priest were in-
volved, he blessed the ring. The groom’s party presented gifts to the bride,
and the bride’s family gave a feast. The bride’s trousseau was delivered to
the groom’s home, but the bride did not go to his house yet. Gifts contin-
ued to go back and forth. Finally, the bride was transported to the husband’s