134 Freedom Riders
Farmer’s growing sense of apprehension became clear when the Free-
dom Riders gathered for a late-night briefing at their Atlanta University dor-
mitory. The Riders were accustomed to Farmer’s assertive style of leadership,
but they had never seen him quite so solemn or peremptory. He alone would
“lead the testings” for the Trailways group, and Jim Peck would do the same
for the trailing Greyhound group. They were entering “the most ominous
leg of the journey,” and there was no room for error. “Discipline had to be
tight,” he told them, and “strict compliance” with Gandhian philosophy would
have to be maintained. The coming journey through Alabama would pose
daunting challenges, but it would also give them the opportunity to prove to
the world that nonviolent resistance was an idea whose time had come. Surely
this was the time when their rigorous training in nonviolence would pay off.
By the end of the meeting, all of the Riders appeared ready, if not altogether
eager, to face the challenges that awaited them. Huddling together, they linked
arms and sang a few choruses of “We Shall Overcome” before retiring to
their rooms. What dreams and nightmares followed can only be imagined.
41
Later that night, a dormitory counselor awakened Farmer from a deep
sleep. His mother was on the phone, and he rushed down to the first floor to
receive what he knew was bad news. Prior to leaving Washington, he had
paid a tearful visit to his father’s bedside at Freedman’s Hospital. Suffering
from acute diabetes and recovering from a recent cancer operation, James
Farmer Sr. was near death when his son first told him about the Freedom
Ride. Realizing that it was unlikely that he would ever see his son again, the
old man offered his blessing, plus a few words of warning: “Son, I wish you
wouldn’t go. But at the same time, I am more proud than I’ve ever been in
my life, because you are going. Please try to survive. . . . I think you’ll be all
right through Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, and maybe even
Georgia. But in ’Bama, they will doubtless take a potshot at you. With all my
heart, I hope they miss.” As Farmer’s mother informed him of his father’s
passing, these final words came flooding back to him. He knew that his fa-
ther would want him to finish the Ride, but he also knew that his distraught
mother expected him to return for the funeral. As Farmer later confessed, in
making the choice to return to Washington he had to overcome an almost
unbearable “confusion of emotions.” “There was, of course, the incompa-
rable sorrow and pain,” he recalled. “But, frankly, there was also a sense of
reprieve, for which I hated myself. Like everyone else, I was afraid of what
lay in store for us in Alabama, and now that I was to be spared participation
in it, I was relieved, which embarrassed me to tears.”
During and after the funeral, Pearl Farmer insisted that her husband had
actually “willed the timing of his death” in order to save his son from the
coming ordeal in Alabama. But no explanation, real or imagined, made it any
easier for Farmer to tell his fellow Riders that he was abandoning them. As
they gathered around the breakfast table on Sunday morning, May 14, the
embarrassed and emotionally drained leader stunned his charges with the