Anker Susan. Real Essays with Readings with 2009 MLA Update

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 40 • Other Punctuation 707

Sometimes, the choice of cereals is overwhelming

: My supermarket

carries at least ﬁ ve different types of raisin bran.

I use one criterion to choose a cereal

: price.

NOTE: A colon in a sentence must follow an independent clause. A

common misuse is to place a colon after a phrase instead of an indepen-

dent clause. Watch out especially for colons following the phrases such as

or for example.

An independent clause contains a subject and a verb, and it expresses

a complete thought. It can stand on its own as a sentence.

INCORRECT The resort offers many activities, such as: snorkeling,

golf, and windsurﬁ ng.

CORRECT The resort offers many activities: snorkeling, golf, and

windsurﬁ ng.

CORRECT The resort offers many activities, such as snorkeling, golf,

and windsurﬁ ng.

INCORRECT Suzy has many talents. For example: writing, drawing,

and painting.

CORRECT Suzy has many talents: writing, drawing, and painting.

Colons in Business Correspondence

Use a colon after a greeting (called a salutation) in a business letter and

after the standard heading lines at the beginning of a memorandum.

Dear Mr. Latimer:

To: Craig Kleinman

From: Susan Anker

Parentheses ( )

Use two parentheses to set off information that is not essential to the

meaning of a sentence. Parentheses are always used in pairs and should

be used sparingly.

My grandfather’s most successful invention (his ﬁ rst) was the electric

blanket.

My worst habit (and also the hardest to break) is interrupting.

When people speak too slowly, I often ﬁ nish their sentences

(at least

in my mind).

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EDITING ESSAYS

708 Part Seven • Punctuation and Capitalization

Dash —

Use dashes as you use parentheses: to set off additional information,

particularly information that you want to emphasize.

The essay question

—

worth 50 percent of the whole exam

—

will be

open book.

Your answers should be well developed, and points

—

2 per error

—

will be deducted for major grammar mistakes.

A dash can also indicate a pause, much as a comma does.

My son wants to buy a car

—

more power to him.

Make a dash by typing two hyphens together. Do not leave any extra

spaces around a dash.

Hyphen -

Hyphens to Join Words That Form a Single Description

Use a hyphen to join words that together form a single description of a

person, place, or thing.

The eighty

year

old smoker was considered a high

risk patient.

I followed the company’s decision

making procedure.

I can’t wait to see my end

the

year grade.

Hyphens to Divide a Word at the End of a Line

Use a hyphen to divide a word when part of the word must continue on

the next line. Most word-processing programs do this automatically, but

if you are writing by hand, you need to insert hyphens yourself.

If you give me the receipt for your purchase, I will imme

diately issue a refund.

If you are not sure where to break a word, look it up in a dictionary.

The word’s main entry will show you where you can break the word:

dic • tio • nary. If you still aren’t conﬁ dent that you are putting the hyphen

in the right place, don’t break the word; write it all on the next line.

■ If you are unsure

about whether or how

to hyphenate a word

or phrase, consult a

dictionary or your

instructor.

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 40 • Other Punctuation 709

Edit Paragraphs and Your Own Writing

Edit the following paragraphs by adding semicolons, colons, parentheses,

dashes, and hyphens where needed. Keep in mind that more than one

type of punctuation may be acceptable in some places.

EDITING REVIEW 1 (15 errors)

(1) To avoid predators, many butterﬂ ies and moths randomly change

directions as they ﬂ y about, but this is not their only strategy they also

display striking colors like radiant and shiny reds, oranges, and blues and

camouﬂ age themselves in effective disguises. (2) For example, some but-

terﬂ ies have streaks composed of many dazzling colors across their wings

to emphasize the speed of their ﬂ ight sending a message that they’re hard

to catch. (3) Other butterﬂ ies use bold, attention getting color patterns to

signal that they are poisonous to eat Some are truly poisonous and some

are faking. (4) There are also species that attempt to look distasteful by

imitating something that is not nutritious a bit of bird dropping, a dead

leaf, or rotting vegetation. (5) One moth, Oxytenis modestia, is especially

enterprising in its disguises In its ﬁ rst four caterpillar stages it looks like

a bird dropping, even including fake seeds in it the ﬁ fth stage imitates

a green snake with a fake large head and two fake eyes and the adult

Oxytenis moth looks like a leaf, and because it breeds twice a year, mimics

the appropriate leaf for the season. (6) Oxytenis moths that hatch in the

dry season look like dry dead leaves those hatching in the rainy season

look dark and moldy. (7) Several butterﬂ ies combine camouﬂ age with eye

catching display for example, Pieria helvetia has front wings that are bland

and dull, but its hind wings are bright red. (8) When it is resting, its wings

are closed, and it can hardly be seen, but when a predator threatens, it

■ For more

practice with the

punctuation covered

in this chapter, visit

bedfordstmartins

.com/realessays.

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EDITING ESSAYS

710 Part Seven • Punctuation and Capitalization

bursts into rapid, dramatic ﬂ ight its red patches make it conspicuously

visible. (9) However, then it suddenly sets down again, folds its wings in,

and seemingly disappears a clever magic act. (10) Birds and monkeys do

their best to see past these disguises because, according to one researcher

one who will do anything for his research, moths taste something like

raw shrimp.

EDITING REVIEW 2 (19 errors)

(1) Caitlin had just gotten home from the video game store where she

had a part time job during summer vacation when she received an un-

usual e-mail message titled “Request for Your Services.” (2) The sender

was Henry Otabe a man she didn’t know and he said he wanted to engage

Caitlin’s services for a diplomatically sensitive task. (3) He said he would

be visiting Washington, D.C., from Cameroon for three weeks on busi-

ness and he wanted to be sure the U.S. State Department didn’t waste

his time as it had on past visits with needless bureaucratic paperwork.

(4) He would require her help for four hours a day for the three week

trip he asked how much she would charge. (5) Caitlin was suspicious

about the message, but she also realized it could make sense for several

reasons She was a graduate student in international relations she had

interned twice at the U.S. State Department, with whose organizational

structure she was familiar and she knew people on the diplomatic staffs

of several African countries, including Cameroon. (6) Two days later, she

e-mailed back agreeing to the task and mentioning a hefty fee what did

she have to lose, she ﬁ gured and she also asked for speciﬁ c dates and

times. (7) Three days later, Mr. Otabe sent her a message saying that he

would arrive in about one month he added that, if she would conﬁ rm by

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 40 • Other Punctuation 711

e-mail her agreement to their arrangement, he would send her an advance

payment of $8,000 to reserve her time and services. (8) Two weeks passed

and the check had not yet arrived which was no surprise to Caitlin, but

she did receive an e-mail explaining that he was delayed due to unfore-

seen business and family concerns however, he had made the following

arrangements Caitlin would immediately be sent a cashier’s check for

$10,000 instead of $8,000, and as soon as she received it, she should

send $3,200 to his agent for prearrival necessities he included an address

in Madrid. (9) Caitlin quickly received the $10,000 cashier’s check which

looked quite authentic and she took it to her bank she wanted to know if

it was legitimate before she tried to cash it. (10) Three days later, Caitlin

received a call from her bank’s security department the check was fraudu-

lent. (11) She e-mailed to Mr. Otabe telling him the check was fraudulent

she got no reply.

PRACTICE 1 EDITING YOUR OWN WRITING FOR

OTHER PUNCTUATION MARKS

As a ﬁ nal practice, edit a piece of your own writing for semicolons, colons,

parentheses, dashes, and hyphens. It can be a paper you are working on for

this course, a paper you’ve already ﬁ nished, a paper for another course, a

piece of writing from your work or everyday life, or your idea journal entry.

You may want to try more than one way to use these marks of punctuation

in your writing.

■ For more practice

with the punctua-

tion covered in

this chapter, visit

bedfordstmartins

.com/realessays.

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712

Capitalization

Using Capital Letters

Understand Capitalization

There are three basic rules of capitalization: Capitalize the ﬁ rst letter of

• every new sentence.

• names of speciﬁ c people, places, dates, and things.

• important words in titles.

If you can remember these three rules, you will avoid the most common

errors in capitalization.

Practice Capitalization

Capitalization of Sentences

Capitalize the ﬁ rst letter in each new sentence, including the ﬁ rst word in

a direct quotation.

Mary was surprised when she saw all the people.

She asked, “What’s going on here?”

■ IDEA JOURNAL

Write a guide to your

family: their names,

where they live,

where they grew up,

and where they work.

■ Answers to odd-

numbered practice

items are at the back

of the book.

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 41 • Capitalization 713

PRACTICE 1 CAPITALIZING THE FIRST WORD IN A SENTENCE

Edit the following paragraph, changing lowercase letters to capital letters as

needed. If a sentence is already correct, put a “C” next to it.

(1) Many fans of classic ﬁ lms point to 1939 as the greatest year in

cinema history. (2) Moviegoers that year were mesmerized by Rhett

Butler telling Scarlett O’Hara, “frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

(3) the same year, audiences thrilled to the story of little Dorothy, who

clicked her heels together and chanted, “there’s no place like home.”

(4) the ﬁ lms of 1939 still make movie buffs shake their heads and mutter,

“they don’t make movies like that anymore!”

Capitalization of Names of Speciﬁ c People,

Places, Dates, and Things

Capitalize the ﬁ rst letter in names of speciﬁ c people, places, dates, and

things. Do not capitalize general words such as college as opposed to the

speciﬁ c name: Lincoln College. Look at the examples for each group.

People

Capitalize the ﬁ rst letter in names of speciﬁ c people and in titles used with

names of speciﬁ c people.

SPECIFIC NOT SPECIFIC

Carol Schopfer my friend

Dr. D’Ambrosio the physician

Professor Shute your professor

Aunt Jane, Mother my aunt, my mother

The name of a family member is capitalized when the family member

is being addressed directly or when the family title is standing in for a ﬁ rst

name.

■ For more practice

with capitalization,

visit Exercise Central

at bedfordstmartins

.com/realessays.

■ The word president

is not capitalized

unless it comes directly

before a name as part

of that person’s title:

President George W.

Bush.

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EDITING ESSAYS

714 Part Seven • Punctuation and Capitalization

Good to see you, Dad.

I see Mother is now taking classes.

In other instances, do not capitalize.

It is my father’s birthday.

My mother is taking classes.

Places

Capitalize the ﬁ rst letter in names of speciﬁ c buildings, streets, cities,

states, regions, and countries.

SPECIFIC NOT SPECIFIC

Bolton Police Department the police department

Washington Street our street

Boston, Massachusetts my hometown

Texas this state

the West the western part of the country

Italy that country

Do not capitalize directions in a sentence: Drive south for ﬁ ve blocks.

Dates

Capitalize the ﬁ rst letter in the names of days, months, and holidays. Do

not capitalize the names of the seasons (winter, spring, summer, fall).

SPECIFIC NOT SPECIFIC

Monday today

January 4 winter

Presidents’ Day my birthday

Language Note: The ﬁ rst letter of all days, months, and proper

names is capitalized.

Today is Tuesday, March 10.

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 41 • Capitalization 715

Organizations, Companies, and Groups

SPECIFIC NOT SPECIFIC

Santa Monica College my college

Toys“R”Us the toy store

Merrimack Players the theater group

Languages, Nationalities, and Religions

SPECIFIC NOT SPECIFIC

English, Greek, Spanish my ﬁ rst language

Christianity, Buddhism your religion

■ The names of

languages should be

capitalized even if you

aren’t referring to a

speciﬁ c course: I am

taking nutrition and

Spanish.

Language Note: The ﬁ rst letter of all languages and nationalities

is capitalized.

Gina speaks Italian, but she is Chinese.

Courses

SPECIFIC NOT SPECIFIC

English 100 a writing course

Nutrition 100 the basic nutrition course

Commercial Products

SPECIFIC NOT SPECIFIC

Diet Coke a diet cola

Hershey bar a chocolate bar

PRACTICE 2 CAPITALIZING NOUNS

Edit the following sentences by adding capitalization as needed or removing

capitalization where it is inappropriate.

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EDITING ESSAYS

716 Part Seven • Punctuation and Capitalization

EXAMPLE: My High School had a painting by Birger Sandzen on

display in an Art classroom.

1. Lindsborg is a small town in McPherson county, Kansas, that calls itself

“little sweden, U.S.A.”

2. Lindsborg’s Restaurant, the Swedish crown, serves Swedish Meatballs at

its sunday smorgasbord.

3. The Town’s most famous resident was probably a swedish immigrant

Artist named Birger Sandzen.

4. He read a book by the founder of Bethany college in lindsborg and came

to kansas to teach at the College in 1894.

5. Sandzen intended to stay in kansas for two or three years, but he loved the

great plains and ended up remaining in lindsborg for the rest of his life.

6. Sandzen taught Art, but he also taught Languages, and he sang as a Tenor

with the Bethany oratorio society.

7. Although Sandzen worked mainly in the midwest, the Rocky mountains,

and other less populous parts of The United States, he exhibited widely.

8. His show at the Babcock galleries in new york received an enthusiastic

Critical response.

9. Sandzen’s use of color showed the beauty of the landscapes of the west.

10. Sandzen’s name may not be familiar to every Art Lover, but his works —

which are found in private collections, at Schools in Kansas, and at the

Sandzen memorial gallery in Lindsborg — are quite valuable today.

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