Anker Susan. Real Essays with Readings with 2009 MLA Update
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EDITING ESSAYS
Chapter 24 • Run-Ons 427
PRACTICE 4 CORRECTING A RUN-ON BY MAKING
A DEPENDENT CLAUSE
Correct each of the following run-ons. First, underline the subjects and
double-underline the verbs to fi nd the separate sentences. Then, make one of
the clauses dependent by adding a dependent word. Add a comma after the
dependent clause if it comes fi rst in the sentence.
EXAMPLE: Everyone knows where a compass points, it points
toward the north.
1. This phenomenon is something we take for granted, it may be changing.
2. A change in magnetism is possible the earth’s magnetic fi eld is getting
weaker.
3. Such a change happened before in the earth’s history, magnetic materials
pointed south instead of north for long periods.
4. A complete reversal could take thousands of years, some effects of the
weaker magnetic fi eld are already apparent.
5. The change in magnetism has affected some satellites, the satellites have
been damaged.
6. Animals may also be affected some of them use the earth’s magnetic fi eld
to sense where they are located.
7. Bees, pigeons, salmon, turtles, whales, newts, and even bacteria need the
magnetic fi eld to navigate, they will adjust to the magnetic change.
8. However, it could take fi ve thousand to seven thousand years compasses
would point south instead of north.
9. The processes affecting magnetism may unfold much more slowly, the
magnetic change may not occur for millions of years.
10. The dinosaurs roamed the earth for about thirty-fi ve million years, the
earth’s magnetic fi eld did not change during all this time.
which is
^
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EDITING ESSAYS
428 Part Four • The Four Most Serious Errors
A Word That Can Cause Run-Ons: Then
Many run-ons are caused by the word then. You can use then to join two
sentences, but if you add it without the correct punctuation and/or joining
word, the resulting sentence will be a run-on. Often, writers mistakenly
use just a comma before then, but that makes a comma splice. To correct
a run-on caused by the word then, you can use any of the four methods
presented in this chapter.
COMMA SPLICE I grabbed the remote, then I ate my pizza.
T
CORRECTED I grabbed the remote, then I ate my pizza. [period added]
CORRECTED I grabbed the remote,
/
; then I ate my pizza. [semicolon
added]
and
CORRECTED I grabbed the remote, then I ate my pizza. [coordinating
conjunction and added]
before
CORRECTED I grabbed the remote,
/
then I ate my pizza. [dependent
word before added to make a dependent clause]
Edit Paragraphs and Your Own Writing
As you edit the following paragraphs and your own writing, use the Criti-
cal Thinking guide that follows. You may also want to refer to the chart
on page 433.
CRITICAL THINKING: EDITING FOR RUN-ONS
FOCUS
• Read each sentence aloud, and listen carefully as you read.
ASK
• Am I pausing in the middle of the sentence?
• If so, are there two subjects and two verbs?
• If so, are there two complete sentences in this sentence?
• If there are two sentences (independent clauses), are they
separated by punctuation? If the answer is “no,” the sentence is a
fused sentence.
• If there is punctuation between the two independent clauses, is it
a comma only, with no coordinating conjunction? If the answer is
“yes,” the sentence is a comma splice.
EDIT
• If the sentence is a run-on, correct it using one of the four methods
for editing run-ons.
/
.
^
^
^
^
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EDITING ESSAYS
Chapter 24 • Run-Ons 429
Find and correct any run-ons in the following paragraphs. Use which-
ever of the four methods of correcting run-ons that seems best to you.
EDITING REVIEW 1 (6 run-ons)
(1) Your memory can play tricks on you. (2) It’s often easy to forget
things you want desperately to remember them. (3) You have probably
had the experience of forgetting an acquaintance’s name the name comes
to your mind only when it’s too late. (4) You have also probably been
unable to fi nd your keys once in a while, you put them down somewhere
without thinking. (5) At other times, however, you may fi nd it diffi cult to
forget some things, you wish you could never think of them again. (6) If
you have an annoying song in your mind, you may spend hours wishing
desperately to forget it. (7) Sometimes, you may fi nd yourself forced to
relive your most embarrassing moment over and over again in your mind
your memory won’t let you leave that part of your past behind. (8) Some
scholars believe that these annoying habits of memory evolved for a rea-
son, it’s hard to imagine, though, any good reason for developing the
ability to forget where you left your keys.
EDITING REVIEW 2 (10 run-ons)
(1) There is one primary rule about cooking for astronauts, never make
food that crumbles. (2) Looking for crumbs in a space station is no fun for
the same reason, salt and pepper for astronauts are always in liquid form.
(3) Space cuisine has come a long way since the fi rst astronauts went
up in 1961 those Gemini astronauts primarily had gelatin-coated food
cubes and aluminum tubes of apple sauce. (4) They now get fresh fruit on
occasion as well as such choices as shrimp cocktail, mashed potatoes with
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EDITING ESSAYS
430 Part Four • The Four Most Serious Errors
bacon, green beans with garlic, and New Orleans jambalaya, they have to
be especially careful with some food choices, though. (5) For example,
the Russians often bring tomatoes when it is their turn to supply the space
station it is not wise to bite right into a fresh tomato because it can squirt
out juice which then has to be tracked down. (6) Every dish is eventually
consumed, even if it is not liked, wasting food makes no sense when
anything can happen in space. (7) NASA’s current challenge is preparing
and packaging food for the planned expeditions to Mars this food will
have to have a fi ve-year shelf life. (8) The food will be shot into space
before the astronauts are, fi rst the food will go up, which will take
six months. (9) Getting the astronauts to Mars will take another six
months, returning adds yet another six months, and delays have to be
anticipated due to possible weather or mechanical problems. (10) A lot
of thought is going into minimizing bacterial growth in the food bacteria
is the last thing one wants on a space mission.
EDITING REVIEW 3 (12 run-ons)
(1) The number of bike riders is growing, especially in American cities
increasing numbers of people are riding bikes to work and for exercise.
(2) This makes it all the more important for drivers and bike riders to
learn to share the road, every year, approximately 46,000 bike riders are
injured in crashes with motor vehicles. (3) The good news is that most of
these accidents are preventable, it takes special care on the part of both
drivers and riders. (4) Car drivers need to recognize that bicycles have a
legal right to use most roads bikes must ride on the shoulder when the
speed limit is over fi fty miles per hour. (5) When coming up on a cyclist,
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EDITING ESSAYS
Chapter 24 • Run-Ons 431
slow down, when passing, give the bike at least three feet of clearance.
(6) Be especially careful with young cyclists, even those on the sidewalks,
they can suddenly dart out in traffi c without looking. (7) When making
a right turn, make sure there is no bicycle on the right, when waiting
to turn left or at a stop sign, yield to a bicycle that has the right of way.
(8) Check carefully for bicycles before opening a car door cyclists have
been killed by headlong crashes into suddenly opened car doors. (9) Bike
riders need to follow the same traffi c rules that apply to drivers wait for
a green light before crossing intersections and signal before all turns and
stops. (10) Try to ride at least three feet from parked cars do not weave
in and out between parked cars. (11) Don’t ride wearing headphones or
while talking on a cell phone, always wear a properly fi tted bike helmet.
(12) Increasing bike riding is a good sign for the environment and for
Americans’ expanding waistlines, for everyone’s safety, both drivers and
riders must vigilantly follow the rules of road-sharing.
EDITING REVIEW 4 (10 run-ons and 7 formal
English errors)
(1) In times past, when a Ping-Pong player could not fi nd someone to
play against, that meant there was no Ping-Pong, those times are now over.
(2) More and more, people are installing in their basements and garages
the perfect Ping-Pong partner it is a robot that endlessly serves fast-moving
Ping-Pong balls. (3) There R several dfrnt Ping-Pong robots on the
market, they all do basically the same thing. (4) They pitch balls one by
one to the person on the other side of the table the fancier ones have nets
that can catch return balls and funnel them back to the automatic server.
(5) The human player cn control the speed, placement, and spin of the
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EDITING ESSAYS
432 Part Four • The Four Most Serious Errors
balls, the more elaborate models allow random serves or a programmed
series of serves that can, for example, go 2 alternate sides of the table.
(6) Some players feel that the robots cn b mo challenging to play
against than a human opponent, it’s hard to see where the ball is coming
from. (7) Human players partially give away their intentions with their
body position, the angle of the paddle, and the type of stroke none of
these cues is visible with a robot server. (8) The ability of some robots
to spin balls is also helpful, say some players the machine can be set to
replay the exact same spinned serve repeatedly, allowing the person to
better learn how to counter it. (9) The Ping-Pong robots with retrieving
nets can save the human player time and effort some humans appreciate
the break to pick up balls. (10) The relentless machine can provide an
exhausting workout, of course, for many robot owners, this is the whole
point.
PRACTICE 5 EDITING YOUR OWN WRITING FOR RUN-ONS
As a fi nal practice, edit run-ons in a piece of your own writing — a paper you
are working on for this class, a paper you’ve already fi nished, a paper for
another course, or a recent piece of writing from your work or everyday life.
Use the Critical Thinking guide on page 428 and the chart on page 433 to
help you.
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EDITING ESSAYS
Chapter 24 • Run-Ons 433
HOW TO FIND AND CORRECT RUN-ONS
To check for run-ons, read each
sentence aloud and ask yourself:
You do not
have a run-on.
You do not
have a run-on.
Are they
separated by
a semicolon?
You do not
have a run-on.
You have a
run-on, which
must be corrected.
Do I pause in
the middle?
Are there two complete
sentences in the sentence?
Are the two complete
sentences separated by a
comma and a coordinating
conjunction?
You do not
have a run-on.
You can add
a period
(see p. 420).
You can add
a semicolon
(see p. 421).
You can add
a dependent
word
(see p. 425).
You can add
a comma and
a coordinating
conjunction
(see p. 423).
NO
NO
NO
YES
YES
YES
NO
YES
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434
25
Problems with
Subject-Verb Agreement
When Subjects and Verbs Don’t Match
Understand What Subject-Verb
Agreement Is
In any sentence, the subject and the verb must match — or agree — in
number. If the subject is singular (one person, place, or thing), then the
verb must also be singular. If the subject is plural (more than one), the
verb must also be plural.
SINGULAR The phone rings constantly at work.
[The subject, phone, is singular — just one phone — so the verb must take the
singular form: rings.]
PLURAL The phones ring constantly at work.
[The subject, phones, is plural — more than one phone — so the verb must take
the plural form: ring.]
Regular verbs, verbs that follow standard English patterns, have two
forms in the present tense: one that does not add an ending and one
that ends in -s. First-person (I, we) subjects, second-person (you) subjects,
and plural subjects (more than one person, place, or thing) have verbs
with no -s ending. Third-person singular subjects (he, she, it, and singular
nouns) always have a verb that ends in -s. The chart that follows shows
the differences.
■ In the examples
throughout this
chapter, the subject is
underlined once, and
the verb is underlined
twice.
■ IDEA JOURNAL
Write about a major
disagreement you had
with someone.
■ For more on regular
verbs and how they
differ from irregular
verbs, see Chapter 26.
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EDITING ESSAYS
Chapter 25 • Problems with Subject-Verb Agreement 435
In the Real World, Why Is It Important to
Correct Subject-Verb Agreement Problems?
Like fragments and run-ons, subject-verb agreement errors are signifi cant
problems that can make a bad impression with instructors, employers,
and others.
SITUATION: Part of Monique’s work at the National Military Family
Association involves helping people fi nd and apply for various kinds of
assistance. Below is a letter from a woman seeking help for her son who has
returned from deployment in Iraq with symptoms of post-traumatic stress
disorder.
Dear X:
My son, Corporal Jonas Brown, were in Iraq. Now he is home, and he
have many problems that is getting worse. He wake up every night scream-
ing, and he cry and hold his head in his hands. Jonas, a young man who
always work very hard, have not been able to hold a job. He is changed,
and he need help before he hurt himself. His friends from the army talks
to me and says as a veteran he are able to get free help. Please tell me
what I should do.
Regular Verbs, Present Tense
SINGULAR FORM PLURAL FORM
First person I walk. We walk.
Second person You walk. You walk.
Third person He/she/it walks. They walk.
Percy walks. Percy and Don walk.
The dog walks. The dogs walk.
Language Note: Some nouns that don’t end in -s are plural, so
they need plural verbs. For example, children and people don’t end in
-s, but they mean more than one child or person, so they are plural.
INCORRECT The people owns their apartments.
CORRECT The people own their apartments.
Monique Rizer
Journalist,
Development
Associate
(See Monique’s
Profi le of Success
on p. 155.)
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EDITING ESSAYS
436 Part Four • The Four Most Serious Errors
RESPONSE: Many returning veterans suffer from post-traumatic stress
disorder, and military psychiatric resources are stretched very thin. Un-
fortunately, the people who are most likely to get the help they need are
the ones who can present their case well in writing. For example, when
newspapers publish stories of veterans who suffer, those veterans often get
help. But for someone like the mother who wrote this letter, the chances
of getting a quick response aren’t good. Her letter shows that she is not
well educated and probably not able to work the system effectively.
Find and Correct Errors in
Subject-Verb Agreement
To fi nd problems with subject-verb agreement in your own writing, read
carefully, and look for the fi ve trouble spots covered in this chapter.
PRACTICE 1 FINDING SUBJECT-VERB AGREEMENT
PROBLEMS
Find and underline the twelve subject-verb agreement problems in the letter
about Corporal Jonas Brown on page 435.
The Verb Is a Form of Be, Have, or Do
The verbs be, have, and do do not follow the regular patterns for forming
singular and plural forms; they are irregular verbs.
These verbs cause problems for people who use only one form of the
verb in casual conversation: You is the richest (incorrect). He is the richest
(correct). In college and at work, use the correct form of the verbs be,
have, and do as shown in the charts on the next page.
are
You is
the craziest person I’ve ever known.
has
Johnson have the best car in the lot.
does
Valery do the bill paying on the fi rst of every month.
^
^
^
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