Anker Susan. Real Essays with Readings with 2009 MLA Update

Подождите немного. Документ загружается.

EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 23 • Fragments 417

PRACTICE 7 EDITING YOUR OWN WRITING FOR FRAGMENTS

As a ﬁ nal practice, edit fragments in a piece of your own writing — a paper you

are working on for this class, a paper you’ve already ﬁ nished, a paper for another

course, or a recent piece of writing from your work or everyday life. Use the Criti-

cal Thinking guide on page 414 and the chart below to help you.

Complete sentence You have a fragment that must be corrected.

You can add the

missing sentence

element(s).

You can connect the frag-

ment to the sentence

before or after it.

HOW TO FIND AND CORRECT FRAGMENTS

Some fragments

start with a

preposition

(see p. 403).

Some fragments

start with a

dependent word

(see p. 403).

Some fragments

start with an

-ing verb form

(see p. 406).

Some fragments

start with an

example or

explanation

(see p. 411).

Some fragments

start with to

and a verb

(see p. 409).

If you ﬁ nd one of these trouble spots in your writing,

ask: Is there a subject and a verb and a complete thought?

There are ﬁ ve trouble spots that signal fragments.

YES NO

ANK_47574_23_ch23_pp401-417 r5 ko.indd 417ANK_47574_23_ch23_pp401-417 r5 ko.indd 417 10/29/08 10:15:55 AM10/29/08 10:15:55 AM

418

Run-Ons

Two Sentences Joined Incorrectly

Understand What Run-Ons Are

A sentence is also called an independent clause, a group of words with

a subject and a verb that expresses a complete thought. Sometimes, two

independent clauses can be joined correctly in one sentence.

SENTENCES WITH TWO INDEPENDENT CLAUSES

Independent clause Independent clause

The fog was very thick, so the airport closed.

Independent clause Independent clause

Passengers were delayed for hours, and many were angry.

A run-on is two sentences (each containing a subject and a verb and

expressing a complete thought) that are joined incorrectly and written as

one sentence. There are two kinds of run-ons — fused sentences and

comma splices.

A fused sentence is two complete sentences joined without any

punctuation.

Independent clause Independent clause

FUSED SENTENCE Anger is a dangerous emotion it has many bad effects.

No punctuation

■ IDEA JOURNAL

What is a run-on? Do

you sometimes have

to guess when to end

a sentence?

■ In the examples

throughout this sec-

tion, the subject is

underlined once, and

the verb is underlined

twice.

ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 418ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 418 10/29/08 10:16:25 AM10/29/08 10:16:25 AM

EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 24 • Run-Ons 419

A comma splice is two complete sentences joined by only a comma in-

stead of a comma and one of the following words: and, but, for, nor, or, so, yet.

COMMA SPLICE Anger is a dangerous emotion, it has many bad effects.

Comma

In the Real World, Why Is It Important

to Correct Run-Ons?

Run-ons are errors that many people, including instructors and employ-

ers, will notice, as the following example shows.

SITUATION: Marion is new to her position as a licensed practical nurse

at a large hospital. Each day, she updates patients’ records and writes brief

summaries of their progress for other nurses. The following is a report that

Marion wrote in her ﬁ rst week on the job.

Trudari Kami is a premature infant she was born with a birth weight

of 1.7 pounds her lungs were not fully developed, she was not able to

breathe on her own. As of 2:15 a.m. on Thursday, April 6, she remains in

stable condition her condition is still critical though she is being carefully

monitored.

RESPONSE: Patty Maloney, the clinical nurse specialist proﬁ led in

Chapter 13, had the following response to Marion’s report.

I had to meet with Marion, who is obviously not sure how to com-

municate clearly in medical documents. I explained to her that what she

had written was very difﬁ cult to understand, and I worked with her on

editing the report so that the next person would understand what Mar-

ion was trying to say. I had to do this because the reports must be clear;

otherwise, the next person might not be sure how to treat the baby.

Find and Correct Run-Ons

To ﬁ nd run-ons, focus on each sentence in your writing one at a time.

Until you get used to ﬁ nding run-ons, this step will take time, but after a

while you will not make the error as often.

Read the paragraph on the next page. Does it include any run-ons?

If so, how many?

Patty Maloney

Clinical Nurse

Specialist

(See Patty’s Proﬁ le

of Success on

p. 208.)

ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 419ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 419 10/29/08 10:16:26 AM10/29/08 10:16:26 AM

EDITING ESSAYS

420 Part Four • The Four Most Serious Errors

The concert to beneﬁ t AIDS research included fabulous musicians

and songs. One of the guitarists had six different guitars they were all

acoustic. One had a shiny engraved silver shield on it, it ﬂ ashed in the

lights. The riffs the group played were fantastic. All of the songs were

original, and many had to do with the loss of loved ones. At the end of

some songs, the audience was hushed, too moved with emotion to begin

the applause right away. When the concert was over, the listeners, many

of them in tears, gave the performers a standing ovation.

PRACTICE 1 FINDING RUN-ONS

Find and underline the four run-ons in Marion’s report on page 419.

When you ﬁ nd a run-on in your writing, you can correct it in one of

four ways.

WAYS TO CORRECT A RUN-ON

• Add a period.

• Add a semicolon.

• Add a comma and a coordinating conjunction.

• Add a dependent word.

Add a Period

You can correct a run-on by adding a period to make two separate

sentences.

Independent clause Independent clause

FUSED SENTENCES (corrected)

I called about my bill. I got four useless recorded messages.

I ﬁ nally hung up my question remained unanswered.

. M

ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 420ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 420 10/29/08 10:16:27 AM10/29/08 10:16:27 AM

EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 24 • Run-Ons 421

COMMA SPLICES (corrected)

My sister found a guy she likes in a chat room, she plans to meet him.

I warned her that she should choose a public place, Applebee’s at lunch

would be good.

Add a Semicolon

A second way to correct a run-on is to join the two independent clauses

into one sentence by adding a semicolon (;). Use a semicolon only when

the two independent clauses express closely related ideas that make sense

in a single combined sentence.

;

Independent clause Independent clause

FUSED SENTENCES (corrected)

My father had a heart attack he is in the hospital.

My mother called 911 the ambulance was there in four minutes.

COMMA SPLICES (corrected)

The emergency room was different from the one on the show ER, the

doctors and nurses were rude.

He was in the emergency room for over three hours, there was no bed

for him.

A semicolon is sometimes used before a transition from one indepen-

dent clause to another, and the transition word is followed by a comma.

TRANSITION BETWEEN SENTENCES

Transition

I tried to visit my father; however, I had no ride.

Semicolon Comma

. S

;

ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 421ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 421 10/29/08 10:16:27 AM10/29/08 10:16:27 AM

EDITING ESSAYS

422 Part Four • The Four Most Serious Errors

PRACTICE 2 CORRECTING A RUN-ON BY ADDING

A PERIOD OR A SEMICOLON

For each of the following run-ons, indicate in the space to the left whether it

is a fused sentence (FS) or a comma splice (CS). Then, correct the run-on by

adding a period or a semicolon.

EXAMPLE:

A cellular phone in the car can be a lifesaver in an

emergency, a cell phone may also contribute to an accident.

1. The invention of cell phones made telephoning from a car pos-

sible, people could telephone for help if they were stranded on the

highway.

2. Almost as soon as cell phones became common, people began to

use them in trafﬁ c, some drivers were undoubtedly distracted by

their telephones, creating a danger.

3. Some communities in the United States have banned drivers from

talking on handheld cell phones, a driver must stop the car to

place a call legally in those areas.

4. Cell-phone makers have come up with hands-free phones even in

places with cell-phone restrictions, these phones can be used by

the driver of a moving car.

5. No one debates that drivers can be distracted by cell phones some

people wonder, however, whether the problem is really the fact

that a driver is holding the phone.

6. If lawmakers simply want to make sure that drivers have their

hands free, they should ban eating while driving as well, they

could also stop people from shaving or putting on makeup behind

the wheel.

;

■ For answers

to odd-numbered

practice exercises, see

pages A-1–A-19 at the

back of the book.

ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 422ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 422 10/29/08 10:16:27 AM10/29/08 10:16:27 AM

EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 24 • Run-Ons 423

7. Some people worry that drivers are distracted not by holding the

telephone but by having a conversation a tense discussion with the

boss or good news from a relative can take the driver’s attention

from trafﬁ c.

8. Cell-phone supporters argue that the same kinds of distractions

can come from elsewhere in the car, music and talk radio, for

example, can suddenly make a driver lose concentration.

9. There are differences, however, between talking on a cell phone

and listening to music in the car, the telephone requires interac-

tion from the driver, but the radio calls for passive listening.

10. Drivers who love making calls on the road will resist cell-phone

restrictions many other people will feel safer in communities that

do not allow driving while telephoning.

Add a Comma and a Coordinating Conjunction

A third way to correct a run-on is to add a comma and a coordinating

conjunction: a link that joins independent clauses to form one sentence.

Some people remember the seven coordinating conjunctions (and, but, for,

nor, or, so, yet) by using the memory device of fanboys, for

for, and, nor,

but, or, yet, so.

To correct a fused sentence, add both a comma and a coordinating

conjunction. A comma splice already has a comma, so just add a coordi-

nating conjunction that makes sense in the sentence.

Independent clause Coordinating conjunction Independent clause

■ For more practice

correcting run-ons,

visit Exercise Central

at bedfordstmartins

.com/realessays.

■ TIP: Note that

there is no comma

after a coordinating

conjunction.

for

and

nor

but

yet

ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 423ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 423 10/29/08 10:16:27 AM10/29/08 10:16:27 AM

EDITING ESSAYS

424 Part Four • The Four Most Serious Errors

FUSED SENTENCES (corrected)

We warned Tim to wear a seat belt he refused.

He hit another car he went through the windshield.

COMMA SPLICES (corrected)

He was unbelievably lucky, he got just scrapes and bruises.

He is driving again, he always buckles his seat belt before starting

the car.

, but

, and

for

but

PRACTICE 3 CORRECTING A RUN-ON BY ADDING A COMMA

AND A COORDINATING CONJUNCTION

Correct each of the following run-ons. First, underline the subjects and

double-underline the verbs to ﬁ nd the separate sentences. Then, add a comma

(unless the run-on already includes one) and a coordinating conjunction.

EXAMPLE: Tasmania, an island off the coast of Australia, is the

home of many unusual kinds of wildlife, it also has been the site of

several oil spills.

1. Fairy penguins, a small breed of penguin, live in Tasmania these birds

have often been the victims of oil spills.

but

Language Note: Coordinating conjunctions need to connect two

independent clauses. They are not used to join a dependent and an

independent clause.

Dependent clause

INCORRECT Although we warned Tim to wear a seat belt, but

he refused.

Independent clause

Independent clause Independent clause

CORRECT We warned Tim to wear a seat belt, but he refused.

ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 424ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 424 10/29/08 10:16:28 AM10/29/08 10:16:28 AM

EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 24 • Run-Ons 425

2. The birds clean their feathers with their beaks they swallow the oil on

their feathers.

3. Unfortunately, the penguins’ attempts to clean off their feathers can be

fatal crude oil is poisonous to penguins.

4. Wildlife conservationists in Tasmania expected future spills, they created

a plan to save the penguins.

5. One of the conservationists created a pattern for a sweater for the pen-

guins volunteers from around the world knitted these unusual sweaters.

6. The sweaters cover everything but the penguins’ heads and feet, they

can’t lick the oil-poisoned feathers.

7. Most of the sweaters were made by elderly nursing-home residents in

Tasmania, some were sent from as far away as Japan.

8. After future spills, a fairy penguin may wear a sweater it also might wear

a tiny football jersey.

9. Some creative knitters made tuxedo-patterned sweaters a few of these

penguin suits even have bow ties.

10. The penguins have a variety of protective outﬁ ts they don’t like any of the

garments.

Add a Dependent Word

The fourth way to correct a run-on is to make one of the complete sen-

tences a dependent clause by adding a dependent word (a subordinating

conjunction or a relative pronoun), such as after, because, before, even

though, if, though, unless, or when. Choose the dependent word that best

expresses the relationship between the two clauses.

Use a dependent word when the clause it begins is less important than

or explains the other clause.

ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 425ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 425 10/29/08 10:16:28 AM10/29/08 10:16:28 AM

EDITING ESSAYS

426 Part Four • The Four Most Serious Errors

FUSED SENTENCES (corrected)

Dependent clause

When I got to the ice cream shop, it was crowded.

Dependent word Dependent clause

I ordered a large cookies ’n cream cone after I waited for twenty minutes.

Dependent word

COMMA SPLICES (corrected)

Dependent clause

The ice cream melted fast, because it was really hot out.

Dependent clause Dependent word

When I ﬁ nished the cone, my hands were all sticky.

Dependent word

When the dependent clause starts off the sentence, you need to add

a comma after it, as in the ﬁ rst and fourth sentences in the preceding

examples. When the dependent clause is after the independent clause,

there is no comma, as in the second and third examples.

Common Dependent Words

after if what(ever)

although since when(ever)

as so that where

because that whether

before though which(ever)

even though unless while

how until who/whose

ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 426ANK_47574_24_ch24_pp418-433 r5 ko.indd 426 10/29/08 10:16:28 AM10/29/08 10:16:28 AM