Anker Susan. Real Essays with Readings with 2009 MLA Update

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 23 • Fragments 407

Sometimes an -ing verb form is used as a subject at the beginning of a

complete sentence.

-ING FORM USED AS A SUBJECT

Swimming is a wonderful form of exercise.

[In this sentence, swimming is the subject and is is the verb.]

Running strains the knees.

[In this sentence, running is the subject, not the verb; strains is the verb.]

-ING FORM USED WITH A HELPING VERB AS A VERB

I am working every day this summer.

[In this sentence, am is the helping verb; am working is the complete verb.]

Tom was running when he saw the accident.

[In this sentence, was is the helping verb; was running is the complete verb.]

Language Note: English uses both -ing verb forms (Kara loves

singing) and inﬁ nitives (to before the verb) (Kara loves to sing). If

these forms confuse you, pay special attention to this section and

see also page 610.

Whenever a word group begins with a word in -ing form, look carefully

to see if the word group contains a subject and a verb and if it expresses

a complete thought.

FRAGMENT Snoring so loudly I couldn’t sleep.

[If snoring is the main verb, what is the subject? There isn’t one. Is there a helping

verb used with snoring? No. It is a fragment.]

FRAGMENT Hoping to make up for lost time. I took a back road to

school.

[If hoping is the main verb, what is the subject? There isn’t one. Is there a helping

verb used with hoping? No. It is a fragment.]

Correct a fragment that starts with an -ing verb form either by adding

whatever sentence elements are missing (usually a subject and a helping

verb) or by connecting the fragment to the sentence before or after it.

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EDITING ESSAYS

408 Part Four • The Four Most Serious Errors

Usually, you will need to put a comma before or after the fragment to join

it to the complete sentence.

-ING FRAGMENT The audience applauded for ten minutes. Whistling

and cheering wildly.

, w

CORRECTED The audience applauded for ten minutes. Whistling

and cheering wildly.

They were whistling

CORRECTED The audience applauded for ten minutes. Whistling

and cheering wildly.

-ING FRAGMENT Working two jobs and going to school. I am tired all the

time.

CORRECTED Working two jobs and going to school., I am tired all

the time.

I am working

CORRECTED Working two jobs and going to school. I am tired all

he time.

PRACTICE 4 CORRECTING FRAGMENTS THAT START

WITH -ING VERB FORMS

In the following items, circle any -ing verb that appears at the beginning

of a word group. Then, correct any fragment either by adding the missing

sentence elements or by connecting it to the sentence before or after it.

EXAMPLE: Quilting with a group of other women. My grandmother

found a social life and a creative outlet.

1. My grandmother spent her entire life. Living on a farm in eastern

Wyoming.

2. Growing up during World War II. She learned from her mother how to

sew her own clothes.

3. She was a natural seamstress. Creating shirts and dresses more beautiful

than anything available in a store.

, m

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 23 • Fragments 409

4. Joining a quilting circle at the age of twenty. My grandmother learned how

to make quilts.

5. The quilting circle made quilts for special occasions. Using scraps of cloth

left over from other sewing projects.

6. Laying the scraps out in an interesting pattern. The women then chose a

traditional design for the stitching that joined the top and bottom parts

of the quilt.

7. Celebrating the birth of her ﬁ rst child, my father. The quilting circle gave

my grandmother a baby quilt that is now a treasured heirloom.

8. She told me that the quilt was made of memories. Incorporating fabric

from her wedding dress, her maternity outﬁ ts, and all of the baby clothes

she had stitched.

9. Looking at each bit of cloth in that quilt. My grandmother could still de-

scribe, years later, the garment she had made from it.

10. Trying to ensure that those memories would survive. I asked her to write

down everything she recalled about my father’s baby quilt.

Fragments That Start with to and a Verb

An inﬁ nitive is the word to plus a verb — to hire, to eat, to study. These

phrases are all called inﬁ nitive forms. Although they contain verbs, inﬁ ni-

tive forms function as nouns, adjectives, or adverbs.

If a word group begins with to and a verb, it must have another verb

or it is not a complete sentence.

FRAGMENT I will go to the store later. To buy a card.

[The ﬁ rst word group is a sentence, with I as the subject and will go as the verb.

There is no subject in the word group to buy a card, and there is no verb outside

of the inﬁ nitive.]

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EDITING ESSAYS

410 Part Four • The Four Most Serious Errors

FRAGMENT Last week, a couple in New York fulﬁ lled their wedding

fantasy. To get married on the top of the Empire State

Building.

[The ﬁ rst word group is a sentence, with couple as the subject, and fulﬁ lled as

the verb. In the second word group, there is no subject or verb outside of the

inﬁ nitive.]

Correct a fragment that starts with to and a verb by connecting it to the

sentence before or after it or by adding the missing sentence elements (a

subject and a verb).

FRAGMENT Geri climbed on the roof. To watch the ﬁ reworks.

CORRECTED Geri climbed on the roof. To watch the ﬁ reworks.

CORRECTED Geri climbed on the roof. T

o watch the ﬁ reworks.

FRAGMENT To save on her monthly gas bills. Tammy sold her SUV

and got a Honda Civic Hybrid.

CORRECTED To save on her monthly gas bills., Tammy sold her SUV

and got a Honda Civic Hybrid.

CORRECTED To save on her monthly gas bills. Tammy sold her SUV

and got a Honda Civic Hybrid.

Language Note: Do not confuse the inﬁ nitive (to before the verb)

with that.

INCORRECT My brother wants that his girlfriend cook.

CORRECT My brother wants his girlfriend to cook.

She wanted to

Tammy wanted to She

PRACTICE 5 FINDING AND CORRECTING FRAGMENTS

THAT START WITH TO AND A VERB

In the following items, circle any examples of to and a verb that begin a word

group. Then, correct each fragment either by adding the missing sentence

elements or by connecting it to the previous or the next sentence.

EXAMPLE: In the 1940s, Joe Gold decided. To become a member

of the Muscle Beach Weightlifting Club.

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 23 • Fragments 411

1. To lift weights. Bodybuilders then met at the Muscle Beach of Santa

Monica in Los Angeles.

2. When Joe Gold thought of opening a gym in 1965, he knew exactly

where. To locate it.

3. Muscle Beach had become known as Venice by then, but bodybuilders

still went there. To lift railroad ties and buckets ﬁ lled with concrete.

4. Gold invented several new workout machines. To give the bodybuilders

more useful exercise.

5. To get the best possible workout. Arnold Schwarzenegger regularly went

to Gold’s Gym in Venice.

6. Schwarzenegger won the title of Mr. Universe and later successfully ran

in an election. To become governor of California.

7. To have a realistic setting for the 1977 movie Pumping Iron. The ﬁ lm-

maker selected Gold’s Gym.

8. Pumping Iron, featuring Schwarzenegger and other weight lifters, helped.

To make Gold’s Gym famous.

9. In the early 1970s, however, Joe Gold made a decision. To sell his original

business along with the name Gold’s Gym to another company.

10. Later, Gold went on. To create World Gym, which now has more than

three hundred locations around the world.

Fragments That Start with Examples

or Explanations

As you edit your writing, pay special attention to groups of words that are

examples or explanations of information you presented in the previous

sentences. These word groups may be fragments.

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EDITING ESSAYS

412 Part Four • The Four Most Serious Errors

FRAGMENT Shoppers ﬁ nd many ways to save money on food bills.

For example, using double coupons.

[The second word group has no subject and no verb. The word using is an -ing

verb form that needs either to be the subject of a sentence or to have a helping

verb with it.]

FRAGMENT Parking on this campus is a real nightmare. Especially

between 8:00 and 8:30 a.m.

[The second word group has no subject and no verb.]

Finding fragments that start with examples or explanations can be dif-

ﬁ cult, because there is no single kind of word to look for. The following

are a few starting words that may signal an example or explanation, but

fragments that are examples or explanations do not always start with these

words:

especially for example like such as

When a group of words that you think is a sentence gives an example

or explanation of information in the previous sentence, stop to see if it has

a subject and a verb and if it expresses a complete thought. If it is missing

any of these elements, it is a fragment.

FRAGMENT The Web has many job search sites. Such as Monster.com.

[Does the second word group have a subject? No. A verb? No. It is a fragment.]

FRAGMENT I wish I had something to eat from Chipotle’s right now.

A giant burrito, for example.

[Does the second word group have a subject? Yes, burrito. A verb? No. It is a

fragment.]

FRAGMENT I pushed seven different voice-mail buttons before I

spoke to a real person. Not a helpful one, though.

[Does the second word group have a subject? Yes, one. A verb? No. It is a

fragment.]

To correct a fragment that starts with an example or an explanation,

connect it either to the previous sentence or to the next one. Sometimes,

you can add the missing sentence elements (a subject, a verb, or both)

instead. When you connect the fragment to a sentence, you may need to

reword or to change some punctuation. For example, fragments that are

examples and fragments that are negatives are often set off by commas.

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 23 • Fragments 413

FRAGMENT The Web has many job search sites. Such as Monster.com.

CORRECTED The Web has many job search sites. Such as Monster.com.

FRAGMENT I pushed seven different voice-mail buttons before I

spoke to a real person. Not a helpful one, though.

CORRECTED I pushed seven different voice-mail buttons before I

, though not a helpful one.

spoke to a real person. Not a helpful one, though.

CORRECTED I pushed seven differen

t voice-mail buttons before I

He was not

spoke to a real person.

Not a helpful one, though.

PRACTICE 6 CORRECTING FRAGMENTS THAT ARE

EXAMPLES OR EXPLANATIONS

In the following items, circle any word groups that are examples or explana-

tions. Then, correct each fragment either by connecting it to the previous

sentence or by adding the missing sentence elements.

EXAMPLE: Some studies estimate that the number of teenage girls

suffering dating abuse is very high. Perhaps as many as one out of

experiences some type of abuse from her boyfriend.

three girls.

1. Many parents believe that they would know if their daughters were being

abused. Either physically or emotionally.

2. Most parents would certainly be concerned to see signs of violence on

their children. Such as bruises or scratches.

3. A young man can be abusive without laying a ﬁ nger on his girlfriend.

A guy who monitors her actions and keeps her from spending time with

other friends.

4. Abusive boyfriends often want to control their partners. Make sure that

their girlfriends dress a certain way, for example.

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EDITING ESSAYS

414 Part Four • The Four Most Serious Errors

5. Around her parents, a teenager’s boyfriend may act like a perfect gentle-

man. Polite, attentive, and kind to the young woman.

6. When the couple is alone, however, he may be giving her verbal abuse.

Like telling her that she is fat, stupid, and ugly.

7. A young woman with an abusive boyfriend may develop psychological

problems that will be difﬁ cult to treat. Such as low self-esteem.

8. Parents should look for signs that their daughter needs help. Like slip-

ping grades, loss of interest in her friends, and unwillingness to conﬁ de in

parents.

9. Friends who think that a young woman is involved in an abusive relation-

ship should try to be supportive of her. Not turn away even if she refuses

to leave her boyfriend.

10. Young women need to know that help is available. From parents, guidance

counselors, women’s support services, and even the police, if necessary.

Edit Paragraphs and Your Own Writing

As you edit the following paragraphs and your own writing, use the Criti-

cal Thinking guide that follows. You may also want to refer to the chart

on page 417.

CRITICAL THINKING: EDITING FOR FRAGMENTS

FOCUS

• Whenever you see one of the ﬁ ve trouble spots in your writing,

stop to check for a possible fragment.

ASK

• Does the word group have a subject?

• Does it have a verb?

• Does it express a complete thought?

EDIT

• If your answer to any of these questions is “no,” you have a

fragment that you must correct.

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EDITING ESSAYS

Chapter 23 • Fragments 415

Find and correct any fragments in the following paragraphs.

EDITING REVIEW 1 (5 fragments)

(1) Genetically modiﬁ ed foods are being marketed. (2) As the foods

of the future. (3) For the past decade, gene technology has been advanc-

ing dramatically. (4) Inserting a gene from one species into the DNA of

another species is easily possible. (5) A gene from a ﬁ sh may be found.

(6) To make tomatoes more resistant to disease. (7) Of course, genetic

modiﬁ cation may have unintended effects. (8) As in the case of geneti-

cally modiﬁ ed corn. (9) Which may harm monarch butterﬂ y caterpillars.

(10) Arguing that the long-term effects of genetic modiﬁ cation may not

be known for years to come. (11) Some scientists urge caution before

marketing genetically modiﬁ ed foods.

EDITING REVIEW 2 (4 fragments)

(1) The term organic means different things. (2) To different people.

(3) Organic foods are supposed to be grown without pesticides. (4) A

method that reduces a farm’s impact on the environment. (5) But is

organic food a healthier choice for the person eating it? (6) Most people

who buy organic food think so. (7) They pay premium prices for organic

products because they think the food is good for their own well-being.

(8) Not just that of the environment. (9) Surprisingly, however, some

foods labeled organic today are highly processed. (10) The label merely

means that the ingredients meet a certain government standard. (11)

While guaranteeing nothing about the nutritional content or health ben-

eﬁ ts of the food.

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EDITING ESSAYS

416 Part Four • The Four Most Serious Errors

EDITING REVIEW 3 (5 fragments)

(1) For several years. (2) The U.S. Department of Agriculture has

permitted the irradiation of certain foods sold in American supermarkets.

(3) Irradiating produce kills bacteria on the food. (4) Increasing its shelf

life. (5) Without irradiation, a strawberry may last only a day or two after

being purchased. (6) An irradiated strawberry, in contrast, can last a week

or more. (7) Because the bacteria that would cause it to spoil are killed

by radiation. (8) While some consumers worry about buying irradiated

food. (9) Others dismiss these concerns as the effect of too many science-

ﬁ ction movies. (10) In stores where irradiated fruits and vegetables are

sold under banners announcing the radiation treatment. (11) The owners

report a booming market.

EDITING REVIEW 4 (5 fragments

and 4 formal English errors)

(1) Bacteria that resist antibiotics could be a real health threat in

the next century. (2) Doctrz have begun 2 explain 2 their patients.

(3) That antibiotics are useful only for certain kinds of infections and

that patients must ﬁ nish every course of antibiotics they start. (4) Antibi-

otic use in agriculture, however, has continued. (5) To increase. (6) The

government does not even keep records. (7) Of antibiotic use in farm

animals. (8) Mne cattle, pigs, and chickens get antibiotics for economic

reasons. (9) Such as to keep them healthy and to make them grow faster.

(10) Many scientists fear that antibiotic residue in the meat Americans eat

may contribute to antibiotic resistance. (11) If so, agricultural antibiotics

could eventually endanger human health.

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