Anker Susan. Real Essays with Readings with 2009 MLA Update
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WRITING ESSAYS
Chapter 6 • Supporting Your Point 97
Gets jealous if I’m looking at another girl even though I’m not
interested
Always asks me if she looks fat and gets mad whatever I say
Even when we’re out she talks on her cell forever
Wants to talk about our “relationship” but I don’t have anything to
say, it’s fi ne
Talks about her girlfriends and their relationships
Not wild about cars
Loves cats and tiny dogs
If I just don’t feel like talking, she imagines I’m in a bad mood or mad
Hates TV sports
Wants me to go shopping with her
Doesn’t like me going out with the guys
2. Next, Carson read his list and crossed out some things that seemed
unrelated to his main point. (See the crossed-out items in the preceding
list.)
3. He then reviewed the remaining ideas and noticed that they fell
into three categories — differences in expectations about communication,
differences about showing affection, and differences about how to spend
time.
He grouped the ideas under these category labels and saw that the
labels could serve as primary support points for his thesis. These support
points could be turned into topic sentences of paragraphs backing his the-
sis, while the ideas under the labels could serve as supporting details for
those topic sentences.
PRIMARY SUPPORT: Differences in expectations about communication
SUPPORTING DETAILS
She always wants to talk
Asks me how I feel, what I think, what I’m thinking about
Gets mad if I don’t answer or thinks I’m mad about something
Wants to talk about our “relationship” but I don’t have anything
to say, it’s fi ne
If I just don’t feel like talking, she imagines I’m in a bad mood or
mad
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WRITING ESSAYS
98 Part One • How to Read and Write in College
PRIMARY SUPPORT: Differences about showing affection
SUPPORTING DETAILS
Always wants to be affectionate, holding hands, kissing
Wants me to tell her I love her all the time
Wants to hear she’s pretty
Gets jealous if I’m looking at another girl even though I’m not
interested
PRIMARY SUPPORT: Differences about how a couple in a “good”
relationship should spend time
SUPPORTING DETAILS
Not wild about cars
Hates TV sports
Wants me to go shopping with her
Doesn’t like me going out with the guys
4. Finally, Carson wrote topic sentences for his primary support
points.
TOPIC SENTENCES FOR PRIMARY SUPPORT
One big difference is in our expectations about communication.
Another difference is in how we show affection.
Another difference is in our views of how we think a couple in a “good”
relationship should spend time.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT
Develop primary support points and supporting details for the thesis you
wrote in Chapter 5 or for one of the following thesis statements.
William Lowe Bryan said, “Education is one of the few things a person
is willing to pay for and not get.”
Elderly people in this country are not shown any respect.
Very few people know how to really listen.
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WRITING ESSAYS
Chapter 6 • Supporting Your Point 99
CRITICAL THINKING: SUPPORTING YOUR THESIS
FOCUS
• Reread your thesis.
• Think about the people who will read your writing.
ASK
• What support can I include that will show, explain, or prove what I
mean?
• What do my readers need to know or understand in order to be
convinced?
• What examples come to mind?
• What have I experienced myself?
• What details could I use to strengthen the support?
WRITE
• Use a prewriting technique to fi nd as many support points as you
can.
• Drop ideas that aren’t directly related to your main thesis.
• Select the best primary support.
• Add supporting details.
• Write topic sentences for your primary support points.
• Make sure that all of your support points have the basics of good
support (p. 89).
■ For examples of
prewriting techniques,
see pages 68–70.
Some movies have made me cry from happiness.
There is one book that really made me think and learn.
Before writing, read the following Critical Thinking box.
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100
7
Making a Plan
Arranging Your Ideas
Understand Ways of Ordering Ideas
In writing, order means the sequence in which you present your
ideas — what comes fi rst, second, third, and so on. Three common ways
of ordering your ideas are chronological order (by the sequence of time
in which events happened), spatial order (by the physical arrangement
of objects or features), and order of importance (by the signifi cance of
the ideas or reasons).
Chronological Order
Use chronological order (time order) to arrange points according to
when they happened. Time order works well when you are telling the story
of an event or explaining how to do something. Usually, you go from what
happens fi rst to what happens last; in some cases, though, you can work
back from what happens last to what happens fi rst.
EXAMPLE USING CHRONOLOGICAL (TIME) ORDER
The cause of the fi re that destroyed the apartment building was human
carelessness. The couple in apartment 2F had planned a romantic din-
ner to celebrate the woman’s raise at work. They lit candles all over the
apartment and then shared a bottle of wine and ate a delicious meal.
After dinner, they decided to go out to a club to continue the celebra-
tion. Unfortunately, they forgot to blow out all of the candles, and one
of them was too close to a window curtain, which caught fi re. The fi re
■ IDEA JOURNAL
Write about a plan
you had that was
successful and why.
You Know This
You have experi-
ence in planning.
• You make a list
of things you
need to do, with
the most impor-
tant things fi rst.
• You fi gure out
how to do some-
thing step by
step.
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WRITING ESSAYS
Chapter 7 • Making a Plan 101
spread quickly throughout the apartment and then spread to others. By
the time another resident smelled smoke, the fi re was uncontrollable.
The building was destroyed. Fortunately, rescuers were able to save
everyone who was in the building. But all of the tenants lost their homes
and most of their possessions. Human carelessness caused much human
misery.
How does the writer use chronological order to arrange information?
The writer orders events from first to last.
Spatial Order
Use spatial order to arrange ideas so that your readers see your topic as
you do. Space order works well when you are writing about what some-
one or something looks like. You can move from top to bottom, bottom
to top, near to far, far to near, left to right, right to left, back to front, or
front to back.
EXAMPLE USING SPATIAL (SPACE) ORDER
I stood watching in horror while all-powerful fl ames destroyed an entire
building, including my apartment and everything I owned. The fi rst few
fl oors looked normal, except that fi refi ghters were racing into the front
entry. A couple of fl oors up, windows were breaking and gray, foul-
smelling smoke was billowing out. I could see shadows of the fi refi ghters
moving in and out of the apartments. My eyes were drawn to the top
two fl oors, where fl ames of orange and white leapt from the windows. A
lone dog with brown and white spots barked furiously from the rooftop.
Until you have actually witnessed a severe fi re, you can’t imagine how
powerful it is and how powerless you feel in its presence.
What type of spatial order does the writer use?
bottom to top
Order of Importance
Use order of importance to arrange points according to their signifi -
cance, interest, or surprise value. Save the most important point for last
to end with a strong point.
■ TEAMWORK
Have students break
into pairs or small
groups. Assign each
pair or group one
of the three sample
paragraphs on pages
100–102 to rewrite
using a different
type of organization.
After about 10 minutes,
ask each group which
order they tried
and how the story
changed with a new
organization.
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WRITING ESSAYS
102 Part One • How to Read and Write in College
EXAMPLE USING ORDER OF IMPORTANCE
Fires caused by human carelessness often have disastrous effects on
people’s lives. In a recent incident, when an apartment building was
completely destroyed by a fi re, the owner and tenants had no homes to
return to. They also lost all of their possessions: furniture, clothing, and
treasured personal items that could never be replaced. Worse than that,
however, was that the owner and many of the tenants had no insurance
to help them fi nd new housing and replace their possessions. Many had
to depend completely on relatives, friends, and a fund that was started
for them by neighbors. The most disastrous effect of the fi re, however,
was that a fi refi ghter lost his life. The thirty-year-old man had a wife
and three young children who were robbed of their loved one. Careless-
ness has no place around fi re, which has the power to destroy.
What is this writer’s most important point about the effects of fi res?
Fires can cause loss of life.
As you arrange your ideas, consider what your purpose for writing is
and what kind of organization would work best to make your main point.
Some examples follow in the chart.
PURPOSE ORGANIZATION
To describe an experience Chronological
To explain how something works
To explain how to do something
To help your reader visualize whatever you are
describing as you see it
Spatial
To create an impression using your senses — taste,
touch, sight, smell, sound
To re-create a scene
To persuade or convince someone Importance
To make a case for or against something
Practice Making a Plan
When you have decided how to order your ideas, make a written plan — an
outline — starting with your thesis statement. Then state each of your pri-
mary support points as a topic sentence for one of the body paragraphs of
the essay. Add supporting details to develop or explain the topic sentence.
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WRITING ESSAYS
Chapter 7 • Making a Plan 103
Your plan should also include a possible main point for the concluding
paragraph. Although your outline serves as a good guide or blueprint, it
can be modifi ed as you draft your essay.
Many people fi nd it useful to write complete sentences as they plan so
that their outline is a more complete blueprint for the essay.
Also, there is no one right order for any essay. Use the order that will
help you make your main point most effectively.
OUTLINE FOR A SHORT ESSAY: The example that follows uses “standard”
or “formal” outline format, in which numbers and letters distinguish be-
tween primary support points and secondary supporting details. Some in-
structors require this format. If you are making an outline for yourself, you
might choose to write a less formal outline, simply indenting secondary
supporting details under the primary support rather than using numbers
and letters.
Thesis statement
I. Topic sentence (primary support point 1)
A. Supporting detail
B. Supporting detail (and so on)
II. Topic sentence (primary support point 2)
A. Supporting detail
B. Supporting detail (and so on)
III. Topic sentence (primary support point 3)
A. Supporting detail
B. Supporting detail (and so on)
Concluding paragraph
PRACTICE 1 OUTLINING PRIMARY SUPPORT POINTS AND
SUPPORTING DETAILS
Arrange the primary support points and supporting details in the spaces pro-
vided, as illustrated in the example below.
THESIS STATEMENT: Being a good customer service representative in a
retail store requires several important skills.
ORGANIZATION: Order of importance
PURPOSE AND AUDIENCE: To explain part of the job to someone who is
interested in a job as a customer service representative
■ For a diagram
of the relationship
between paragraphs
and essays, see
page 51.
■ For more advice on
primary support and
supporting details,
see Chapter 6.
■
TEACHING TIP
If students have dif-
fi culty outlining their
essays, encourage
them to try a visual
approach — writing
their outline as a clus-
ter diagram or as a
fl owchart.
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WRITING ESSAYS
104 Part One • How to Read and Write in College
Filling out paperwork
Looking at person
Listening carefully
Making notes
Asking questions
Being pleasant and polite
Smiling, saying hello
Figuring out how to solve the problem
Calling the right people
I. Being pleasant and polite
A. Smiling, saying hello
B. Looking at person
II. Listening carefully
A. Making notes
B. Asking questions
III. Figuring out how to solve the problem
A. Calling the right people
B. Filling out paperwork
1. THESIS STATEMENT: I didn’t think I was college material.
ORGANIZATION: Order of importance
PURPOSE AND AUDIENCE: To explain to a college admissions offi cer why
you took time off after high school before applying to college
No one in my family had gone to college.
I’d goofed off in high school.
I didn’t know anyone who could tell me what college was like.
I’ve been out of high school for a while.
My sister said college was a waste of time and money.
I forgot what school was like.
I didn’t have good high school grades.
I didn’t care about school.
I’m older than other students.
Primary support
point
Supporting details
Primary support
point
Supporting details
Primary support
point
Supporting details
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WRITING ESSAYS
Chapter 7 • Making a Plan 105
I. Answers will vary.
A. ____________________________________________________________
B. ____________________________________________________________
II. _________________________________________________________________
A. ____________________________________________________________
B. ____________________________________________________________
III. _________________________________________________________________
A. ____________________________________________________________
B. ____________________________________________________________
2. THESIS STATEMENT: Avoid being taken by telephone con artists.
ORGANIZATION: Chronological order
PURPOSE AND AUDIENCE: To advise consumers on how to avoid getting
scammed on the phone
Contact authorities after the call, if you’re suspicious.
Can I call you back?
Personal information is private.
Your Social Security number can be misused.
Ask questions from the start.
It’s good for authorities to track potential scams.
Your actions could protect other consumers.
Don’t reveal personal information.
What is your address?
I. Answers will vary.
A. ____________________________________________________________
B. ____________________________________________________________
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WRITING ESSAYS
106 Part One • How to Read and Write in College
II. _________________________________________________________________
A. ____________________________________________________________
B. ____________________________________________________________
III. _________________________________________________________________
A. ____________________________________________________________
B. ____________________________________________________________
PRACTICE 2 OUTLINING AN ESSAY
Outline the essay that follows. First, double-underline the thesis statement
and the main point in the concluding paragraph. Underline each topic sen-
tence, and put a check mark next to each supporting detail.
We all know people who seem to fall in love over and over. They love
being in love. But others have different patterns. Some people seem to fall
in love once and stay there. Others avoid long-term commitment. Until
now, we had no way to fi gure out why some people were steady lovers
and others not. Some researchers now believe that the amount and type
of certain hormones in a person’s brain may determine a person’s patterns
of love.
Using mice as subjects, the researchers found that when two particu-
lar hormones (oxytocin and vasopressin) exist in the pleasure centers of
the brain, they produce individuals with a pattern of long-lasting love.
Male mice with these hormones in their pleasure centers were faithful
to their partners. They stayed with their female mouse partners through
pregnancy and the raising of offspring. ⻬
In contrast, when those same hormones existed outside of the plea-
sure center, the male mice sought constant sources of new love. They did
⻬
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