Understanding the Portuguese
101
sphere, the Portuguese take their affectionate behaviour with
them to public spaces. This includes their warm relation with
their children, as well as with their spouse, boy- or girlfriend.
At weekends, all the park benches in Lisbon seem to be
occupied by hugging couples as well as families who are all
at ease with showing their affection for one other.
Patience
The Portuguese are a patient people, which is probably the
best attitude in a country where customer service could use
some improvement and where government bureaucracy is
overwhelmingly sluggish. For a foreigner, it is diffi cult to wait
in line for half an hour to post a letter or obtain information
without getting infuriated by the ineffi ciency and slow service,
but the Portuguese accept these annoyances with utmost
nonchalance. Although slow service is more the rule than the
exception, the Portuguese only rarely complain. This attitude
can be partly explained by the mild-mannered disposition of
the Portuguese, but also in part by their fear to attract undue
attention in public.
Ladies First
Call it machismo or the extended age of chivalry, but the
relationship between men and women in Portugal is still
largely based on traditions that emphasise male prowess and
female vulnerability. As a general rule, men treat women in
a courteous, considerate and respectful manner. Very rarely
do men whistle at women on the street or otherwise try
to attract their attention. Proper manners are what counts
in public and whenever possible, men act as gentlemen
in front of women. ‘Ladies fi rst’ is still a widely observed
rule of Portuguese etiquette, and foreign visitors should be
aware of its importance in Portugal’s public life. Men hold
the doors open for women and help them get in and out of
cars. Similarly, men light cigarettes for women, and get up
from a chair when a seated woman gets up. A gentleman
will also help a lady put on a jacket or a coat. While these
courtesies are considered patronising and largely outmoded
in Anglo-Saxon cultures, they still seem to work well in
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