
well as disagreement. A dialogue is often the prelude to resolution of an
issue. When resolved, the issue exits from the life cycle chart.
Face-to-Face Communication and Other Forms
of Personal Communication
One of society’s basic building blocks is the relationship between two
persons. This is exemplified by spontaneous conversations, interviews,
and various encounters, such as between husband and wife, parent and
child, doctor and patient, teacher and pupil, and other dyads.
Close, face-to-face contact allows for the conveyance of maximum
information. Besides the spoken message, the appearance, clothes, and
body language of someone may suggest certain attitudes and personal
-
ity traits. For example, a carefully groomed man wearing a pin-striped
dark blue suit would appear to want to hold conventional attitudes and
fit in with the business community. Face-to-face contact permits imme-
diate feedback, thus allowing for flexibility in presenting an argument.
If something is known about another person, the conversation may in-
corporate his or her interests and thereby enhance receptivity.
Personal communication, especially face to face, requires people to
develop their listening skills. But “from talk shows to offices, everybody
is jabbering but few are listening” in today’s society.
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In our fast-paced
world, says Kathy Thompson, a conversation teacher at Alverno College
in Milwaukee, “we’re always in a hurry. Mentally we’re saying, get to
the point, we don’t have time to hear the whole story.… Good listening
takes time.”
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Furthermore, says Wicke Chambers, a partner in Speech-
works, an Atlanta communications-training firm, “People think listen-
ing is boring; it’s more fun to talk.”
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Talking is perceived as active and
dominant, listening as passive and deferential.
Basic face-to-face personal communications are supplemented by
other forms that contain decreasing amounts of information: telephone
conversations, letters, and e-mail. Telephone voice quality may reflect
mood, a handwritten letter may still convey personality through hand
-
writing style, and e-mail may reflect limited personality attributes.
The shortcomings of other forms of personal communication are re
-
vealed in a study of the e-mail system at a southeastern university. One
finding is that senders overly concentrate on the technological process
while ignoring the message’s impact on the receiver. Because inhibitions
seem to drop, a more aggressive stance is taken because “you’re not
face-to-face,” said full-time faculty and administrators. Cues obtained
from a person’s eyes, gestures, posture, and facial expressions are ab
-
sent and therefore do not affect the message. Words carry the entire
meaning in e-mail, so more phrases that convey the intent of a message,
such as “I’m asking for clarification, not admonishing you,” or “This is a
very difficult question and I’m feeling uncomfortable asking you”
should be used.
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60 I CHAPTER 2