Цыбина Е.А., Нудько В.А. Английский язык
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children immediately. They prefer to do well at their jobs first. So they often decide
not to have a baby until they are in their late thirties, or even forties.
In the past, people married before they had children, but now about 40% of
children are born to unmarried parents. The number of single-parent families is
increasing. Single parents are usually divorced women (2/3) or women who have
never married (1/3). The government gives help to single parents, but money can still
be a problem. And studies show that, in general, children are happier and more
successful in traditional two-parent families.
Divorce
The number of births in Britain is falling. There are fewer marriages, but more
divorces. The divorce laws were changed and divorce became quicker and easier. But
can people walk away from marriages too easily now? Do couples not try hard
enough to stay together?
The great divorce discussion
A popular newspaper described Britain as ‘the divorce capital of Europe’. There
are 3 10.000 marriages a year, but 161,000 divorces. Why? A professional British
woman in a top job wrote this surprising letter to the newspapers Women’s Page.
Why do so many people get divorced? The reason is very sad. Women are
destroying their marriages!
In the past women stayed at home, did the housework and had babies. When a
husband came home from the office, his wife welcomed him. She looked nice, and
dinner was ready. She asked him about his day and listened to all his problems. So
husbands were happy with their wives and marriages were very successful.
But now – women want good jobs like their husbands, and they also war their
husbands to help with the children and the housework.
If a husband has a bad day at work, his wife doesn’t want to know about it. She
wants to talk about her own day. She often gets angry because her husband doesn’t
help her more. In the end, the husband doesn’t enjoy being at home. He leaves his
wife for another woman, and the marriage ends in divorce.
The newspaper asked its readers for their views!
1. I agree with the letter. Women must do something about their marriages. When
your husband comes home from work, cook his dinner. Ask him about his day. If he
helps you, thank him. Don’t tell him about your problems the office or at home. Talk
about things that are interesting to him. Then he’ll want to come home to you.
2. This woman can’t be serious! Women aren’t destroying their marriages - men
are! A working wife works hard all day. At night she’s tired, too. But she has to cook,
wash clothes and put the children to bed. And what does her selfish husband do? He
sits down and watches TV!
3. A clever wife cooks her husband’s meals, washes his shirts and makes his home
life comfortable. Men want us to be like their mothers. What’s wrong with that?
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4. A wife isn’t very interesting if she stays at home and does housework. Her
husband will get bored and run away with his young secretary.
5. You don’t like housework? Your husband doesn’t like housework? Get a cleaner
and. save your marriage!
2. How much do you know about different wedding customs from around the world?
Answer these questions by matching each custom to a country from the list below.
In which country …
is a song or poem specially composed for the bride and groom?
do the bride and bridegroom feed each other cake?
does the bridegroom pay money to the bride’s friends and relatives before passing
through a cloth barrier to his bride?
do the bride and groom stand under a canopy?
do the bride and groom give presents to the wedding guests?
do the wedding guests pin paper money to the clothes of the bride and groom?
do the bride and groom walk seven times round a sacred fire?
are the bride’s family seated on one side of the church while the groom’s family are
seated on the other?
3. Read the text.
The Night of Henna
Weddings in many Egyptian villages take place traditionally after the farmers
have sold the summer harvest. This is the only time of year when they have enough
money to go into town and buy a trousseau for the future bride. The wedding
festivities begin on the eve of the wedding which is called the ‘night of the henna’.
During the ‘night of the henna’ the bride’s hands and feet are painted with henna.
This ceremony, which takes place in the privacy of the bride’s home, marks the
beginning of the wedding festivities.
But the highlight of the day is the arrival of the poet. Although today many
families have abandoned this traditional form of entertainment, the few remaining
poets always receive an enthusiastic welcome.
The poet and his musicians usually arrive during the early afternoon, before the
henna ceremony. After greeting him at the entrance to the village, a few local
dignitaries take him to the house of the host family. There, he takes refreshments
before having a sleep to prepare him for the long evening ahead. After having an
early supper, he and his partners tune their instruments.
During the day, he village square is prepared for the evening performance. A
platform is set up for the poet and his musicians. Mats are placed around the platform
for the guests, and seats of honour are reserved for the local dignitaries. The children
are the first to crowd into the square and sit as close to the platform as possible. Alter
going to the mosque to pray, the wedding guests make their way to their seats.
Finally, when everyone is settled, the poet appears on the platform. He is greeted with
cries of joy, the entire audience is attentive to his slightest change of expression.
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Every poet always tells the same story, the epic of About Zeid El Hilali. The
poet never begins the story at the beginning, just as he never reaches the end. His art
lies in his ability to catch the listeners’ attention and control their sympathies and
emotions. There are a number of interruptions during the narrative for the musicians
to play and the whole evening’s entertainment lasts for several hours.
The wedding ceremony takes place on the following day. The musicians play all
afternoon during the presentation of the bride’s trousseau to her groom’s family.
4. Read and discuss.
Between 1971 and 1975, a researcher called Mark Abrams, at the Social Science
Research Centre, conducted a complicated series of studies designed to gauge
people’s satisfaction with various domains of their lives.
Throughout the series, marriage emerged as by far the greatest source of
satisfaction -ahead of ‘family life’, health, standard of living, house, job and much
more. The obvious inference, that marriage makes you happy, is widely accepted
among those who specialise in marital studies. So is the view that marriage, like
happiness, is good for your health, a view borne out by a number of studies.
Some of these studies present a confused picture because they compare the
health and life expectancy of married people with the health and life expectancy of
the divorced, separated and bereaved. (The latter group invariably come out worse,
but should that be blamed on the termination of their marriages or on the fact that
they married, perhaps unhappily, in the first place?)
But other studies have specifically compared the married with the single and
reached similar conclusions. Even these are slightly ambiguous. Are single people
more susceptible to serious illness because they are single? Or is their single status a
result of their susceptibility?
None the less, the general message seems incontrovertible: marriage is not as
bad as it seems. It is certainly not bad for you and almost certainly good for you. Few
sociologists, doctors or statisticians would dispute the statement that married
people live an average of five years longer than the unmarried and are significantly
less susceptible to strokes, ulcers, cancer, heart attacks, depression, mental illness and
high blood pressure.
Nor is the institution of marriage as beleaguered as it is sometimes made out to
be. As well as having the second highest divorce rate in Europe (Denmark’s is
highest), Britain has the equal-highest marriage rate (along with Portugal). The
divorce rate seems to have leveled out since 1985, and the huge long-term increase in
the twentieth century probably owes as much to changing legislation as it does to
worsening marital relations. The total numbers of marriages and of married people
are much the same today as they were in 1961 (although both increased briefly in the
early 1970s).
Since 1891 the proportion of the population who are married has increased
significantly, while the proportion who are single has decreased. Today, around 85
per cent of men and 91 per cent of women will marry at some point in their lives.
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That said, marriage is clearly under threat, both from divorce and from the
growing trend for unmarried cohabitation. The divorce rate is increasing, even since
the last significant changes in the divorce laws: from 11.6 per thousand in 1978
(143,667) to 12.8 per thousand in 1988 (152,633). The marriage rate is declining,
from 14.9 per thousand in 1978 (368,258) to 13.8 per thousand in 1988 (348,492).
And a growing proportion of marriages - about one in three -are remarriages
(partly because the number of people in a position to marry again has increased so
much). Unmarried cohabitation has never been more popular. The proportion of
women aged 18 to 49 who are cohabiting almost tripled between 1979 and 1988,
from 2.7 per cent to 7.7 per cent. The proportion of children born out of wedlock in
the UK has increased from 5.8 per cent in 1961 to 26.9 per cent in 1989. And
according to Gallup three adults in four no longer think that becoming pregnant is a
reason for a single woman to marry.
One problem is that marriage is increasingly perceived, in popular culture,
as lacking the spontaneity of unstructured love. Does reality bear this out? According
to the Observer/Harris poll, people who cohabit are two-and-a-half times more likely
to be ‘madly in love’ with their partners than married people (25 per cent to 10 per
cent).
Yet most other indicators suggest that married couples derive more happiness
from their relationships than non-married couples, and people’s perception of their
own marriages remains optimistic. The 1991 Observer/Harris poll showed that 91 per
cent of married people expect their own marriages to last until death. Their negative
feelings about marriage are reserved for other people - 66 per cent rate the average
marriage’s chance of succeeding as 50:50 or worse.
Last year the Family Policy Studies Centre caused a great stir by predicting that,
based on existing trends, 37 per cent of new marriages would end in divorce – an all-
time high. Another way of looking at this, as several advocates of marriage have
pointed out, is to say that nearly two-thirds of marriages will succeed.
NOTE
Talking about family and friends
I’ve got two brothers and a sister. My brothers are twins (= two children born to
one mother at the same time), and they are three years younger than me. I’m the
oldest and I take after my father (= I am similar to him in appearance and/or
character). My sister takes after my father in some ways, but she looks like my
mother (- her appearance is similar to my mother’s). We’re a close family (= we have
a good relationship/see each other a lot). My best friend Pete is an only child (=
without brothers or sisters); he spends a lot of time with us and he’s almost one of the
family.
Family names
Your parents give you a first name, e.g. James and Sarah are common first
names in Britain. Your family name, usually called your surname, is the one that all
the family have, e.g. Smith and Jones. Your full name is all the names you have, e.g.
Sarah Jane Smith.
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Changing times
In some parts of the world, couples may live together but do not get married. In
this relationship they often call each other their partner. Where the child or children
live(s) with just one parent, especially after the parents have separated (= they don’t
live together any more), these are sometimes called single-parent families.
Friends
an old friend (= someone you have known for a long time)
a close friend (= a good friend/someone you like and trust)
your best friend (= the one friend you feel closest to)
classmates (= other people in your class)
flatmates (= people you share a house/flat with, who are not your family)
colleagues (= people you work with; they may or may not be friends)
Ex-
We use this for a relationship that we had in the past but do not have now:
The children stay with my ex-husband at the weekend. I saw an ex-girlfriend
of mine at the disco last night.
***
5. How world deals with divorce.
IRELAND
Divorce does not really exist in Ireland. Legal separation is permissible, but separated
couples cannot remarry.
BRITAIN
To divorce after less than two years separation you must prove unreasonable
behaviour or adultery.
FRANCE
Qiuckie divorces by mutual consent have been available since 1975. If one party
contests the case, divorce will only be granted in case of unreasonable
behaviour or separation lasting more than six years.
RUSSIA
Legally, divorce easily obtainable. In practice, the divorce rate is kept down because
the severe housing shortage means couples that break up have to continue living
together.
CHINA
Divorce instantly granted by marriage registration office if both parties agree. If just
one partner wants to end the marriage, divorce is granted after the failure of
mediation attempts.
AUSTRALIA
Australian law has abolished the term divorce to make the procedure less painful.
Divorce is now a straightforward question of changing your civil status.
ISRAEL
Under Jewish law divorce is easier than marriage. Before the wedding the husband must
set aside a sum of money, that will be used to care for his wife in case of divorce.
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6. In which country:
a)can men divorce their wives by saying they want to? Iran
b)is it hard to get divorced in less than two years?
c)is it possible for couples to separate legally but not get divorced?
d)must you normally wait six years if only one party wants the divorce?
7. Answer the following questions, according to the text. Use your dictionary to help
you if necessary.
a) Why do couples in Russia often continue to live together after a divorce?
b)What do Chinese couples have to do if only one partner wants to end the marriage?
c)Why is divorce in Australia now easy?
d)How do couples in Iran have to try to improve their relationship before getting a
divorce?
8. Work in groups of two or three. Are there any unusual weddings or alternatives to
traditional weddings in your country? Is marriage in your country as popular as it was
fifty years ago? What reasons are there to get married?
9. Write down the different stages of preparation, ceremony and celebration in
traditional or alternative wedding ceremonies in your country.
In Britain, the groom arrives at the church with the best man. They sit on the right-
hand side. The bride arrives with her father
Join your notes with any other ideas from 1, and write a paragraph about traditional
or alternative weddings in your country.
After arriving at the church, the groom and the best man sit on the right-hand side.
The bride arrives with her father...
10. В КАКОМ МЕСЯЦЕ ЖЕНИТЬСЯ.
ПРИМЕТЫ.
Wedding when the year is new?
He’ll be loving, kind, and true.
When February birds of made,
You wed nor dread your fate.
If you wed when March winds blow,
Joy and sorrow you’ll both know.
Marry in April when you can,
Joy for maiden and for man.
Marry in the Month of May,
And you’ll surely rue the day.
Marry when June roses grow,
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Over land and sea you’ll go.
Those who in July are wed,
Must labor for their daily bread.
Whoever wed in August be,
Many a change is sure to see.
Marry in September’s shine,
Your living will be rich and fine.
If in October you do marry,
Love will come, but riches tarry.
If you wed in bleak November,
Only joys will come, remember.
When December snows fall fast,
Marry, and true love will last.
11. Discuss the following.
The mayor has nine wives
Elizabeth, 38, is a smart, bright, modern-looking woman, and the town attorney. She
lives here in Big Water with her husband, Alex Joseph, most of his twenty children
and all of his eight other wives.
‘It’s an ideal arrangement for a career woman,’ Elizabeth, a Mormon, says ‘Most
American women trying to juggle their CE lipstick and marriage not succeeding very
well ‘In a plural marriage can have it all. You never have to worry about who’ll look
after the s. You can be fully a mother, fully professional and fully woman.’
12. The big question is…
IS MARRIAGE OLD-FASHIONED. What does marriage mean to you? Just a
piece of paper or a deeper and more secure relationship?
CHRIS O’BRIEN
‘Yes, it’s no different to living together, apart from a bit of paper. I wouldn’t bother
with getting married, unless my girlfriend wanted to, or we were going to have kids.
I think it’s important then.’
ANNE McLEAN
‘No, it’s not old-fashioned – I’m married and I highly recommend it! It’s rubbish to
say that marriage is just a bit of paper, and it’s certainly a lot more than just living
together.’
In groups, discuss the following questions and give reasons for your answers.
a) What are the main reasons for getting married and what are the drawbacks?
b) What is the best age to get married? Why?
c) Is there too much social pressure on people to get married? Should other kinds of
partnership be more acceptable?
d) Should weddings be religious?
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e) Is it acceptable to have more than one partner at the same time?
f) Why do people get divorced? Is it too easy?
g) What problems are there when people decide to get divorced?
13. You have been going out with someone for a while and you have decided to live
together. However, before you do so you wish to draw up a personal ‘contract’. In
groups, discuss the kinds of things you think it is a good idea to include in such a
‘contract’. Things to think about might include:
- when to use the bathroom.
- who cooks the meals and when.
- what happens if you want to go out with other people.
14. The text is about a Balinese marriage, but the paragraphs have been mixed up.
Read the text and put the paragraphs in the correct order. Discuss the following.
a) What helped you decide on the correct order? (e.g. Which words or phrases refer
back to a previous paragraph?)
b) How is the text organised? (e.g. How do you know which paragraphs come at the
beginning and end of the text?)
A. Discovering what has happened, the girl’s family then pretend to be very worried.
The angry father is supposed to search the surroundings, asking everyone in the
household who took his daughter. Of course, even a close friend who may have
helped the daughter pack her clothes, innocently denies any knowledge of the affair.
B. First, the couple secretly decides to run away, usually to a friend’s house a good
distance from the girl’s village. On the appointed day, the girl is suddenly carried off
by her young man.
C. No matter how couples are married, divorce is not difficult. A man merely reports
to village authorities that his marriage is finished; or if it is a woman, she simply
returns to her home and the children are cared for by the man’s family. However,
divorce does not often occur. If the situation arises, it is likely that a man takes a
second wife, and the first remains as head of the household.
D. In Bali, there is one form of marriage, the negerorod -marriage by elopement –
which is considered exciting for it is preceded by the honeymoon and the man is
considered heroic.
E. Sometimes even a search party is organised, but the shock reaction is all in fun.
Generally the family is well acquainted with the young man and understands that if
their daughter took some clothes, she left by her own choice.
15. Read the text quickly. It is about a couple called Clifford and Annie, who are
planning to get married.
Answer the questions.
1 What are your impressions of Clifford and Annie? Which of the following words
best describe your opinion of them? Why?
sensible weird ridiculous romantic spontaneous easygoing warm and
loving cold and calculating unbelievable
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2 Do you think their marriage will last?
3 How many of their rules can you remember?
‘I’ll marry you but only on a few conditions...’
When Clifford met Annie, they found one thing in common. They both love
lists. So together they have written the ultimate list, a list of rules for their marriage.
This prenuptial agreement itemizes every detail of their lives together, from shopping
to sex. Timothy Laurence met them in Florida in the apartment that they share.
The living room is neat and tidy, with a dining table already laid for a meal that
has yet to be cooked. All the ingredients for the meal are in the kitchen, prepared,
weighed, waiting in a line. It is his turn to cook. Annie is chatting over a cup of
coffee by the pristine kitchen bar when her fiancé pours himself a cup and joins her.
He touches her arm. She tenses, looks at him anxiously, and asks, ‘Oh, sorry. Did I
say something wrong?’
‘No, no. I was just showing affection,’ Clifford explains ponderously.
‘Oh, I see,’ says Annie.
His hand returns to her arm, and this time she relaxes. It is a significant moment,
because spontaneity is not at the heart of this relationship. Love, for Clifford and
Annie, means following a book of rules.
A signed, legal document
They have become curiously famous since details of their prenuptial contract
were publicized. They wanted a legal contract, signed and witnessed by lawyers.
Their agreement is intended to regulate the chaotic heart, and smooth the path of true
love before the journey of marriage has begun We will have healthy sex 3 to 5 times
per week’ ,it declares, and continues through every aspect of married life, from the
wedding itself, to a trip to the supermarket: ‘We will spend $400 a month’, to who is
boss when it comes to the big decisions. They are getting married in six months’
time. The ceremony will last twenty minutes. The reception will be held in a
restaurant on Miami beach. We will invite a twenty guests each, who will be served
two drinks, one of which may be alcoholic’.
List of rules
So what are some of the other rules that will lead to married bliss?
• Once we are married, we will each receive an allowance of $70 per week to cover
haircuts, eating out, gifts for friends and spending money.
• We won’t raise our voices at each other. If we get angry, we will count to 10 and
take a deep breath.
• We will not use tobacco products.
• We will go to bed and turn out the lights by 11.30 pm.
• Family leadership and decision-making will be Clifford’s responsibility. Annie will
make decisions in emergencies and when Clifford is not available.
• We will buy unleaded fuel, and we won’t let the fuel gauge get lower than half a tank.
If any of these rules are broken, a fine will have to be paid out of personal savings.
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***
Everyone wants to know whether they are the saviours of modern marriage, or
the butchers of romance. ‘Did we put anything in the contract about love?’ asks
Annie, a little uncertainly. 1 think so,’ says Clifford. Ah, yes, they did: ‘We will
provide unconditional love and fulfill each other’s basic needs.’ Oh, good. So
that’s all right then.
Their prenuptial contract is a response to uncertainty, and a plan for emotional
and financial security for the future. At 39, Clifford has been through two divorces
and has, two sons. Annie, 31, was married briefly and disastrously in her early
twenties. As Clifford likes to point out, the divorce rate, for first-time marriages is
now 54 per cent. ‘Nobody plans to fail,’ ‘ he says, ‘but a lot of people fail to plan. I’m
going to write a book about our experience of a fully planned and programmed
marriage. I just know that it will be a bestseller.’
When Clifford met Annie
Clifford and Annie met at a dance, and started a cautious romance. He took her
out to a movie and dinner, and gave her roses with a card signed with affection that
she still keeps in her handbag. They started their own small marketing business, and
in the running of the business discovered that they were both ‘goal setters’. One day,
not having anything else to talk about
they decided to create the perfect budget!
We were really excited that we could agree on something so vital and
fundamental to any enterprise, whether it’s a business or a marriage,’ says Clifford.
With so much romance in the air, their relationship deepened,, and as, the weeks
passed, they began to make lists of increasingly personal concerns. From the start,
they agreed that the big marriage breakers were money, behaviour, sex, and
85 children. ‘Nothing is going to make this marriage go wrong,’ says Clifford.
‘Everything has already been planned.’
‘In five years, we will have moved from our present address, and we will be
living in a beach house overlooking the ocean.’
When Annie met Clifford
Annie sees their arrangements slightly differently. For her, the prenuptial
contract, was a way of getting to know Clifford - a kind of courtship, just probing and
asking questions. If we don’t like and respect each other, this union won’t last.’ She
liked what she found, including a mutual fondness for lists. I’d made a list of what I
wanted in a man, what I liked, and what was unacceptable. I had prayed to God to
find a man who was my father, only 30 years younger.’
She is very keen to have children, but Clifford admits to ‘having problems’ with
the prospect of more kids, more 100 college fees! Their contract states: We will not
start a family for the first two years of our marriage.’ ‘So I’ll be pregnant in three
years,’ Annie says, and then pauses. ‘No, sooner than that. I’ll be pregnant in
30 months ...’
Such is the wild intensity of passion in the heat of Florida.