BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS BY COMMUNICATING SUPPORTIVELY CHAPTER 4 235
______ ______ 8. I always suggest specific alternatives to individuals whose behavior I’m trying to
correct.
______ ______ 9. I reinforce other people’s sense of self-worth and self-esteem in my communication
with them.
______ ______ 10. I convey genuine interest in the other person’s point of view, even when I disagree
with it.
______ ______ 11. I don’t talk down to those who have less power or less information than I.
______ ______ 12. Even when I feel strongly about my point of view, I convey to others that I am flex-
ible and open to new information.
______ ______ 13. I strive to identify some area of agreement in a discussion with someone who has a
different point of view.
______ ______ 14. My feedback is always specific and to the point, rather than general or vague.
______ ______ 15. I don’t dominate conversations with others.
______ ______ 16. I take ownership of my statements and point of view by using personal words such
as, “I think” instead of impersonal words such as “they think.”
______ ______ 17. When discussing someone’s problem, I usually respond with a reply that indicates
understanding rather than advice.
______ ______ 18. When asking questions of others in order to understand their viewpoints better, I
generally ask “what” questions instead of “why” questions.
______ ______ 19. I hold regular, private meetings with people with whom I work and with whom I live.
______ ______ 20. I understand clearly when it is appropriate to offer advice and direction to others and
when it is not.
COMMUNICATION STYLES
This assessment instrument is divided into two parts.
In Part 1, four people complain about problems they face in their jobs. Following each
complaint are five possible responses. Rank three of the responses you would be most
likely to make, with 3 being your first choice, 2 being your second choice, and 1 being
your third choice.
Part 2 of the assessment describes a particular situation. Several pairs of statements
follow. Place a check mark next to the statement in each pair that you would most likely
use in responding to that situation. Don’t identify your preference. Rather, mark the alter-
natives that are most like your current behavior.
To score the Communication Styles instrument, turn to the end of the chapter to find
the answer key and an interpretation of your scores.
Part 1
1. I’ve been in this job now for six months, and I hardly know anyone at all in the
organization. I just can’t seem to make friends or to be accepted by other
people. Most people are extremely busy and don’t take time to socialize. I feel
isolated and excluded from what’s going on.
a. Don’t be concerned about not making friends so soon. Things will get
better the longer you’re with the organization, you’ll see.
b. When you first meet people, what do you say? Are you the one to
be friendly first?
c. Because organization members are so busy, probably no one has
time to get close socially. You shouldn’t expect too much.
BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS BY COMMUNICATING SUPPORTIVELY CHAPTER 4 235