
taboo. Precisely at the time when a helpless new arrival had the greatest need
for support, he remained woefully isolated.
The arrival shock, which was most painful for those persecuted for ‘‘racial’’
reasons, has been described many times—for instance, by Dr. Erwin Toffler,
who was eighteen when he entered the camp in the spring of 1944: ‘‘I thought
I was dreaming. Even today the whole thing seems like an ugly dream to me.
The selection, the noise, and the smell of smoke awakened me, and it was
clear to me that I had arrived at the last stop of my life.’’
Zdenka Fantlova, who was transferred fromTheresienstadt to Auschwitz in
October 1944 as a younggirl and sent toa laborcampaftera few weeks,writes:
‘‘Auschwitz was such a terrible shock forme that my memories of it and every-
thing I experienced there appear to be shrouded in a veil of mist. During my
entire stay there, it felt as though someone had hit me on the head. For a long
time I was unable to comprehend that what I had experienced was reality. I
stopped thinking and feeling. That was the only help given us by nature to
preserve our health.’’
Eduard de Wind sums up his experiences as a physician who treated many
fellow sufferers by saying that in most cases the very first impressions were
forgotten. ‘‘It was a shock phase in which a profound regression of the entire
personality took place. For a brief period of time, the inmates lived in a kind
of dreamlike state.’’
Like Fantlova, Grete Salus was deported to Auschwitz from Theresienstadt
in October 1944. Shortly after her liberation she wrote down her first impres-
sions of the extermination camp. ‘‘As soon as we jumped out of the railroad
car,we were engulfed and, half unconscious, floated along toward something
horrible that we could only sense deep in our subconscious. Now everything
unfolded with breathtaking speed. Only some of it remained fixed, like flash
photography, but everything else did not penetrate into our consciousness.’’
Salus has this to say about the greatest shock,which was caused by the tearing
asunderof families at the ramp: ‘‘At first my husband and I were still together.
People did and said senseless things—a last clinging to something real and
familiar. A female friend of mine passed some chocolates around; my husband
took a piece and said: ‘I’ll be right back, I’m going back to the train to take
this chocolate to my sick friend.’ This was the last time I saw my husband,
and these were the last words I heard from him.’’
There are numerous descriptions of first impressions of the camp. Salus
has summarized hers as follows: ‘‘Schneller, schneller, schneller (faster, faster,
faster)—it still rings in my ears, this word that from now on hounded us day
and night, whipped us on, and never gave us any rest. On the double—that
was the watchword; eat, sleep, work, die on the double....Ioftenasked
people with the same experiences what their impressions were on their arrival
Under the Power of the Camp n 65