Later Wesleyanism: 1770–1800 97
agony I cannot tell: but as I looked up to heaven, I saw the clouds open
exceeding bright, and I saw Jesus hanging on the cross. At the same
time these words were applied to my heart, ‘Thy sins are forgiven
thee.’ My chains fell off, my heart was free.
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Here one has, in quick succession, Jacob wrestling with the
angel, Stephen’s vision ‘of the heavens opened and the Son of
Man standing on the right hand of God’, and then the climax
of the hymn Charles Wesley wrote immediately after his con-
version in 1738, and which was based on Peter’s angel-assisted
escape from prison. The Wesleyan circle was complete.
The soldiers stand out among the early preachers as men
living in a hard world of their own and reshaping it through the
power of imagination. The only other passage which comes
up to this in the Wesleyan canon is John Haime’s description
of his deliverance. Haime (1710–84) came from Shaftesbury
in Dor set; he had a deeply depressive personality from which
he suffered for twenty years, long after he left the Army and
Wesley started to use him as a travelling preacher in 1747.He
describes his original conversion, which happened in 1740 ,
soon after he had enlisted, thus:
one Sunday, as I was going to church, I stood still like a condemned
criminal before his judge, and said, ‘Lord, what am I going to church
for? I have nothing to bring or offer thee, but sin and a deceitful heart.’
I had no sooner spoken, than my heart melted within me, and I cried
earnestly to him for mercy. But suddenly something ran through my
veins cold as ice. I was afraid to stay; and arose and left the room;
but reflecting that God is above the devil, I went in again. I fell down
before the Lord, with bitter cries and tears, till my strength failed me,
and it was with difficulty that I could walk out of the room.
Then, as so often, in a moment of solitude, came the e piphany,
in a kind of baptism: ‘The next morning as I was goingto water
my horse, just as he entered the river, in a moment, I felt the
love of God flowing into my soul. Instantly all pain and sorrow
fled away.’
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