182 Hitler: Study of a revolutionary?
he was content. When Stefanie, as happened just as often, coldly ignored his
gaze, he was crushed and ready to destroy himself and the whole world.
Certainly such phenomena are typical of every first great love, and one
might perhaps be tempted to dismiss Adolf’s feelings for Stefanie as calf
love. This may have been true as far as Stefanie’s own conception of them
was concerned, but for Adolf himself, his relation to Stefanie was more than
calf love. The mere fact that it lasted more than four years, and even cast its
splendour over the subsequent years of misery in Vienna, shows that Adolf’s
feelings were deep and true, and real love. Proof of the depth of his feelings
is that for Adolf, throughout these years, no other woman but Stefanie existed
– how unlike the usual boy’s love, which is always changing its object. I
cannot remember that Adolf ever gave any thought to another girl. Later in
Vienna, when Lucie Weidt roused his enthusiasm in the part of Elsa in
Lohengrin, the highest praise he could give her was that she reminded him of
Stefanie. In appearance, Stefanie was ideally suited for the part of Elsa, and
other female roles of Wagner’s operas, and we spent much time wondering
whether she had the necessary voice and musical talent. Adolf was inclined
to take it for granted. Just as her Valkyrie-like appearance never failed to
attract him and could fire him with unbounded enthusiasm. He wrote
countless love poems to Stefanie. ‘Hymn to the Beloved’ was the title of one
of them, which he read to me from his little black notebook. Stefanie, a high-
born damsel, in a dark blue, flowing velvet gown, rode on a white steed over
the flowering meadows, her loose hair fell in golden waves on her shoulders.
A clear spring sky was above. Everything was pure, radiant joy. I can still see
Adolf’s face glowing with fervent ecstasy and hear his voice reciting these
verses. Stefanie filled his thoughts so completely that everything he said, or
did, or planned for the future, was centred around her. With his growing
estrangement from his home, Stefanie gained more and more influence over
my friend, although he never spoke a word to her.
Source: August Kubizek, The Young Hitler I Knew, 1955, pp. 58–9
Fowler et al. also say that the construction of grand psychotic delusions may be tied
up with attitudes to work. Among those driven to succeed, a grand delusional
fantasy is a means to compensate for failure (Fowler et al., 1995, p. 66). For all the
uncertainties about his early life, it seems Hitler did react to his failures badly.
Difficulties at secondary school caused a retreat to fantastic play about ‘cowboys
and indians’. Failure to achieve a place at either art or architecture school led him to
retreat into his own fantastic schemes of study (see Chapter 7). It is also significant
that Hitler did not tell his family of his failure to become a student, and after his
second rejection by the Academy broke contact with his friend Kubizek. He could
not face anyone on the basis of rejection (Kershaw, 1998, pp. 38–9 and 48). We
also know that the loss of the First World War and revolution were associated with
a major reaction in him.
And so we come back to the basic plausibility of the proposal that, subject to