been hired by USAID to develop economic forecasts that would
be used by the Egyptian government to procure World Bank
financing. To do my job properly I needed detailed population
statistics for specific regions of the country. Although I knew they
existed, I was told by one bureaucrat after another that the
information was not available for public consumption. I kept
pointing out that I was not the public, that I was working for
them, in the strictest confidence, and that I had to obtain those
statistics if they expected me to compile a report that would
ultimately bring billions of dollars into their country. This sort of
appeal-cum-threat had worked for me in Asia and Latin America;
however, it seemed to have no impact in Egypt.
The officials in Cairo and Alexandria who were assigned as
my counterparts, and therefore were supposed to expedite my
work, showed me around their cities. We visited spice markets
and smoky cafes where turban-wrapped men played dominoes
and puffed on bubbling hookahs, strolled along the Nile and the
Mediterranean, gawked at precious jewels and priceless
antiquities in ancient palaces, and consumed gallons of tea. But
whenever I reminded them that I was waiting for the population
statistics, they reiterated the difficul ties while soliciting my
patience. "Things take a great deal of time here," they would say.
Or "This is not like America, we are a very old country, camels
walk slowly." When I offered to bribe them—legally, of course,
by paying excessive amounts for people to work overtime,
194INFIDEL DOG
with the officials pocketing the difference—they merely shook
their heads and offered me another cup of tea.
Finally, in utter frustration, I decided to go above my counter-
parts' heads. It was a drastic step—one I had always avoided
before because of the risk of antagonizing people I relied on—but
this was a situation that had turned desperate.